Page 38 of Not-So-Perfect Princess
“I can’t risk upsetting Enrique.” The reality of her situation couldn’t be ignored. “If he finds out—”
“Do you really think Enrique’s going to send you back to Aliestle and walk away from a hundred-million-dollar dowry because you went sailing?”
Her jaw dropped. So did her heart. Splat.
Jules knew her father had set aside a large amount of money for her dowry, but not that much. She closed her mouth. She’d always known suitors were after the money, not her. Still the truth stung. “I…can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” he urged. “It’ll be worth the risk.”
“For you, maybe. Not for me.” If Enrique didn’t marry her, she’d find herself trapped in a worse marriage, in an old-fashioned country with archaic, suffocating traditions. Her efforts to help Brandt and Aliestle would be futile. Plus, she had her children to consider. “I would love to race. But I can’t do all the things I want to do. I must consider the consequences.”
“Consider the consequences if you don’t race.”
The word no sat on the tip of Jules’s tongue. That word would end further discussion. But her heart wasn’t ready to do that yet. She wanted to know what racing might feel like. But reality kept poking at her, reminding her what was at stake. “There are no consequences if I don’t race.”
Alejandro held her hand. “Your happiness, Julianna.”
“I’ll find happiness.”
“Life on the island will be good for you, but Enrique is self-involved. He’ll most likely ignore you.”
“Ignoring me will be better than trying to control me,” she admitted. “And I’ll be happy once I have children. I’ve always wanted to be a mother. Children will bring me great happiness and joy. I’ll devote myself to being the best mother I can be. That will make me very happy.”
“Will children be enough?”
They had to be.
“I’m sorry, Alejandro.” Julianna pulled her hand out of his. “I must find contentment in the life I’m meant to live. If I believe I can or should have more, that will make the days unbearable.”
“You’re a wonderful, brave woman.”
“If I was brave, I’d say yes even though it would be a really bad idea.”
“It could be sheer brilliance.”
“Or an utter disaster.”
“You want to.” Alejandro gazed into her eyes. “I can tell.”
Her pulse skittered. She flushed. She did want to. More than anything. “I told you. It doesn’t matter what I want. I can’t.”
“What’s really stopping you?”
“Common sense.” She raised her hand in the air to accentuate each point. “Duty. Obligation.”
“Royal duty doesn’t mean making yourself a slave.”
“It’s not slavery, but a responsibility to build something better.”
“I’m trying to build something better here on the island. But you can’t pretend to be something you’re not,” Alejandro said. “However much we love people or have loved them, we still have to be the person we are meant to be. Follow your heart,” his voice dipped, low and hypnotic.
Emotion clogged her throat. She’d followed her heart once. Tonight. The thought of doing so again made her mouth water. “I…”
“Say yes,” he encouraged. “You won’t regret racing.”
Oh, she would regret it. Jules had no doubt.
But tonight’s glimpse of freedom had spoiled her and made her feel carefree and alive. She wasn’t ready for that feeling to end.
“Yes.” Her answer went against everything she’d been raised to do or be. She needed to reel herself in and set clear boundaries to temper this recklessness. She remembered her plan from this morning. “I’m saying yes for the same reason I sailed tonight. Once I marry Enrique, things will change. I must honor my husband and my marriage. I will step fully into my role of the crown princess who will one day be queen.”
“The people of La Isla de la Aurora have no idea how fortunate they are to have you as their future queen.”
“Let’s make sure I’m not caught so one day I can be their queen.”
