Page 49 of Nolan (The Doherty Mafia)
“I don’t know if I’ll get back. I just want this war to end. I don’t care what’s waiting for me on the other side.” There wasn’t any emotion in his voice. His eyes looked blank. I was afraid he’d put himself directly in the line of danger because he didn’t give a shit anymore.
I found the courage to go closer to him.
“Nolan…please…you have to give me another chance.”
“A chance for what?”
“To prove myself to you,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears again.
Nolan clenched his jaws tightly.
“Your story may be worthy of an excuse to everyone else. Hell, even my brothers might forgive you. You’ll just have to make do with that,” he snapped and walked away.
I gasped when he left. It felt like he’d sucked all the air out of my lungs and then he was gone.
The worst part was not knowing when I’d see him again, and that our time together was over.
Reese came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.
“We have to find a way to relax and talk calmly, and try not to worry about the men. They can take care of themselves. I trust them. Right now, I need to stay focused on keeping this baby safe. You’re going to be an aunt soon.”
Her words calmed me and I turned to smile at her through my tears. Finally, I’d have a real family.
“Do you think Aldo found out somehow? About our mother giving a baby away to the state?” I asked while I made the two mugs of hot cocoa for us. There wasn’t much to eat in the apartment and Reese needed nourishment.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he found out about it as soon as he got back from his trip. I remember them fighting like cats and dogs. Aldo was enraged and Mom hadn’t budged. Maybe he knew it’d be impossible for him to get to you since the state had you and he had no idea where to even start looking. Maybe she made sure not to leave a trail.”
“Or maybe he didn’t want to come find me, because I feel like he would have found me if he really wanted to.”
Reese shrugged.
“With Aldo, it’s completely possible. Maybe he just didn’t want another kid around, especially not a biological one he’d have to feed and clothe. You were a baby while I was a kid who needed less tending.”
“What happened to her? Our mother. When I asked Aldo he didn’t give me a real explanation. Just that she was on a lot of medications and she wasn’t happy with her life.”
Reese shook her head and I saw she was close to tears again.
“He was the reason she wasn’t happy with her life. He was the reason she was on so many medications. She died because of him, even if he didn’t have anything to do with her death directly.”
She choked up a little as she spoke and I drew closer to her on the couch. She had her hands wrapped around the warm mug, staring into space.
“Apparently she overdosed. A long time after she gave birth to you, I was a teenager then. I don’t really know what happened. Nobody really knows what happened because Aldo refused to tell anyone. It was written off as an accidental death caused by the drugs she’d taken, but who gave them to her? I know she wouldn’t have done it on purpose. No matter how much she hated her life. She would’ve wanted to stay alive so she could protect me from him. I have spent a long time trying to believe the narrative Aldo fed me and everyone else; that my mother took her own life, but I know she didn’t. He did it to her, probably force-fed all the drugs to her himself.” Reese sobbed hard while I threw my arms around her to console her.
I never knew our mother but still, I felt a physical ache inside me. If Aldo was alive after what the Dohertys would do to him, then I’d find him myself and make him pay for everything. I didn’t want him to spend one more second drawing fresh air into his fucking lungs.
And yet, the fact was, Aldo Baron was my biological father. Without his existence, I would not exist.
All my life, in all those moments of despair and sadness during my childhood, when all I’d wished for was to find my real parents—I hadn’t ever imagined I’d feel this much anger towards my father. This much hatred.
I was also filled with confusion now. I didn’t know if I really wanted him to die. I knew he had to pay for his crimes and for everything he had done—not only to my mother and Reese, but also to the Dohertys and the other people whose lives he had affected.
