Page 38 of Nolan (The Doherty Mafia)
I might not have understood the nitty-gritty of their world, but I understood enough to know Aldo needed to get out of there. As soon as possible before the Dohertys found him. It would’ve been sensible if I called and warned him now.
But I didn’t do any of that.
Nolan went up to his apartment. He didn’t even invite me or turn to see if I’d him up. It’s like he knew I wasn’t going anywhere tonight. I’d stay with him.
I shuddered a little as I went into his apartment. I sensed a new portal opening up inside me.
Why did I encourage him to participate in the attack on Aldo? What had I tried to achieve with that advice? Why would I want Nolan involved?
I battled two extreme parts of me. One that wanted Nolan to prove himself to his family—to show them the strong intelligent side of him they may not have witnessed yet. The adult side of him.
There was the other part of me that knew I’d made a promise to Aldo. I was supposed to help him. I was on a mission and now I had finally made progress. I should’ve left as soon as I could. But I couldn’t.
Nolan poured us drinks in silence. Things just seemed so natural around here—between us. Like this was exactly how our nights were supposed to go. The two of us together, alone in his apartment, talking.
A few days ago I didn’t know who he was. Our paths probably would’ve never crossed if it wasn’t for Aldo. And now I didn’t want to be away from him.
“Why didn’t you tell me about your family? Your childhood?” he asked.
I sat in the chair across from him. He took the couch. We both had drinks in our hands, but that wasn’t the reason I’d opened up to him. I battled the urge to trust him.
I shrugged. “It doesn’t make for an entertaining introduction,” I said.
“What else haven’t you told me about yourself?” he asked.
He had no idea. He barely knew me and that was my fault. I was the one who’d kept things from him. Who still deceived him.
“I work at a hair salon. I’m not a fashion student…not yet anyway,” I said.
Nolan looked confused at first and then his expression relaxed.
“You didn’t want to tell me the truth because you didn’t want me finding out who you really are?”
I nodded, feeling myself crumbling on the inside.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
“You don’t have to apologize. You were probably right for keeping your distance from me. The only thing I can add to your life is trouble,” he said.
“So, are you going to do it?” I asked.
I was so confused and conflicted by my own thoughts and emotions, I felt my hands and feet shaking as I sat across from him.
“Take charge of the attack on Aldo?” he asked and I nodded.
How could I ever forgive myself for participating in this conversation? Encouraging a Doherty to kill the closest thing I had to family? My mother would’ve hated me, right? She wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with me if she was alive.
I proved myself to be a terrible daughter.
“Why do you care so much?” Nolan asked.
“I explained it to you. It’s time your family sees you in a new light, and instead of fighting about it and threatening to walk away from them—why not show them what you’re capable of? The man you’ve become while they weren’t looking.”
He shook his head.
“I don’t want you getting involved in this bullshit, Amelia. You don’t understand it because you’ve never been close to it. This shit is dangerous.”
He had no idea how knee deep I already was in that pile of shit. I knew exactly how dangerous it was. No matter what the Doherty family thought of me when I enjoyed a meal with them—they wouldn’t hesitate to pump a few bullets in me if they found out who I worked for.
Would Nolan do it too?
I sensed his rebellion was just a phase. Nothing mattered to him more than his family, and his loyalty to them would always come first.
“I don’t have to be involved. I don’t have to get close to it. But if this is what it’d take to show your family, then this is what needs to be done, right?”
“Are you trying to get me killed?” he asked with a grin.
I hadn’t considered that yet. Nolan could get killed during this attack. He wasn’t invincible. It’d be dangerous for everybody.
I stood up from the chair, put down my drink and then went over to him. He stared into my eyes as I climbed into his lap, sitting astride his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I wanted to taste the bitterness of the beer on his lips.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you, Nolan,” I whispered, close to his ear.
