Page 34 of Loathe Me (Touch of Death 1)
Staggering backward, I turn around and come face to face with my sister. She stands like a statue among the sea of people invited here to mourn my father’s life. Friends, business acquaintances, distant family…and I—his daughter—wasn’t offered the opportunity mourn the loss of my own father, because Gabi lied to me. Anger and hatred bubble up, and I clasp hold of them, using them to mask the potent pain.
“Lina.” She steps forward. “You can’t be here.” She grabs my arm, and I snatch it away.
“Don’t touch me.” I move around her.
Lorenzo offers me a sad, apologetic look, but I simply glance away. They’re traitors. Every single one of them. I’m disgusted and broken and hurt. So fucking hurt.
The pain rises like a tidal wave and crashes over me until I’m drowning in it, unable to drag a clear breath into starved lungs. I can’t stay here. I have to leave.
I climb the stairs to what used to be my room. It remains untouched since I was last here nearly a year ago. I swallow around the lump in my throat. I stayed away. I asked to go to England because I was tired of living in Gabi’s shadow, fed up with being the second daughter of a mob boss, not quite in, not quite out, but still unable to live a normal life. I fought my father tooth and nail to go to England where no one would know me as anything more than an Italian student. I was so desperate to escape him, and now I’d do anything to be in his arms, to hear his words of wisdom and witness that knowing smile. The last ten minutes suddenly press down on me like the weight of a building. I sit on the edge of the mattress, smoothing my fingers over the white satin bedspread. I’m not sure if or when I’ll be back here, but it’ll never be the same. The house that has always been home now feels hostile.
I force my grief down, far into the recesses of my soul to deal with later. Now, I need to focus, plan my next move. I came here to stop Gabi from handing herself over to Enrique in my place, but at this moment, I don’t care. I hate them all. Her, Enrique, Ronaldo…
I go to the closet and push aside the racks of dresses, remembering being forced to wear them. And now, I can’t help but wonder if Daddy was always grooming me for marriage. But I refuse to believe that. At the back of the closet is the safe. I enter the code, and the heavy door swings open, revealing a stack of money and my gun. I clasp the cool metal of the gun in my hand and think back to the day my father gave it to me. He’d spent the majority of my fourteenth birthday teaching me how to shoot, and even now, it’s one of my most cherished memories. Shoving the gun into the waistband of my jeans, I toss the cash in the bag I brought, and then I grab another to shove clothes into. I’m fed up with living out of a backpack and nothing more than two outfits.
I throw the bag over my shoulder and step out of the closet. Although, I halt when I see my sister sitting on the end of my bed.
She drags a hand through her jet black hair, her gaze locking with mine. “I’m sorry,” she says quietly.
“What for? Lying to me? Or not inviting me to my father’s funeral?”
A long breath hisses past her lips.
“You shipped me off without even telling me Daddy was dead.” My voice breaks, and the pain creeps out of that dark place, shadowy talons reaching out and sinking into already raw, exposed flesh.
“I… I didn’t know how to tell you.” She swipes angrily at a tear as it streaks down her cheek. A rare show of weakness from my steely sister. “Daddy was killed by the Bianchi’s for refusing to honor the marriage agreement.”
I swallow heavily, my emotions a jumbled mess.
“He tried to fix his mistake, Lina. He’s regretted it ever since he made the deal. He never intended for you to marry against your will.”
I don’t know how to feel about any of it. He died trying to save me, but he never should have had to make that decision. It’s all such a mess.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I wanted to try to fix this first. Come to an agreement with the Bianchi’s, or… I don’t know, but I didn’t want you to feel like you were in danger and defenseless without Daddy. I will protect you, Lina.”
“Fix this?” A hysterical laugh slips past my lips. Her brows pull tightly together, and her mouth flattens into a straight line. My eyes prickle, and I sniff back tears. “You’ve betrayed me, Gabi.” I shrug my bag over my shoulder and push past her.
