Page 36 of Brendan (The Doherty Mafia)
Mom stroked my hair.
“It’s okay, Rosa. You should have told me who he was. But I’m happy you’ve told me now. Does he know? Have you told him?”
I shook my head vigorously.
“But Davey has met him. They’ve spent time together. Doesn’t he have the right to know?”
I straightened up, pulling away from her and dabbing at my cheeks.
“I don’t want him to know. If I have my way, Davey will never find out. I’m happy with the way things are for us, Mom. You, me and Davey. We’re happy right now, aren’t we?”
She looked at me sympathetically and nodded.
“Yes, Rosa, I’m happy and Davey is happy, but you…I feel like you could be happier. And maybe it’s this secret that’s been holding you back. He’s back in your life now. The father of your child. And maybe he would like to share some of the responsibilities of raising a child.”
“Brendan is not the kind of guy who would ever want to be a father. He had fun with Davey for a few hours this morning, and then he returned to his normal life. He won’t be able to do it and I don’t want to disappoint Davey. He deserves better than a father who doesn’t want to be one.”
Mom watched me closely and then she sighed.
“This is about your dad, isn’t it?” she asked.
I should have known she would figure it out.
Our conversation was interrupted for a bit when Davey came running to us. We went over to the swings and pushed him in it for a while. Then he got bored of that and returned to the sandpit to play with the other kids.
Once he was gone, Mom threaded her arm around mine and pulled me close to her.
“I may not say this often enough, sweetie, but you’re doing a great job of raising your boy. A much better job than I did with you.”
“You did the best you could, Mom.”
She nodded, then looked in Davey’s direction and smiled.
“Your father set a bad example for what you can expect from men. I guess I never had good taste in men because each of them I picked was worse than the previous one.”
She spoke in a soft voice, staring out into the distance. I said nothing because it was true. I had to agree with her. She sure knew how to pick ‘em.
Then she turned to me again.
“But that doesn’t mean all the men in the world are like that, Rosa. You never followed my example in parenting. Why should you follow mine in selecting the man you want to be with?” she asked.
“I don’t want to take the chance, Mom. I don’t want to risk Davey’s life and happiness.”
“But will he ever forgive you when he grows up and digs around for the truth? You know he will. Just like you were so curious as a teenager to find out more about your dad. You would have hated me even more if I kept his identity hidden from you.”
She was right. I hadn’t thought about it that way. I could still remember the frustration I felt at not knowing my father. I wanted to find him. Talk to him. Challenge him.
Would Davey experience those same feelings? It was likely that he would.
It wasn’t going to be very long that I’d be able to keep his paternity hidden. He was going to be his own man one day.
“And how do you know what Brendan wants or how he would react to this information? You won’t know until you tell him. If he pushes you and Davey away, if he rejects the news, then you can move on.”
She had a point with that too.
“I guess I’m just a coward,” I said.
“No, sweetie, you’re just being a protective mother. You love that boy and you will do anything to protect him. But maybe you don’t need to protect him from his father. Maybe you’re wrong about Brendan.”
Mom smiled at me but I couldn’t make myself smile.
Brendan had charmed too many women with his good looks and sex appeal. I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.
“I’ll think about it,” I told my mom.
At least she would be happy with that answer for now.
We had to cut our time short at the park because I needed to go home and get ready for my shift at the bar. Nina was supposed to come over and watch Davey for the night.
As always, he wasn’t thrilled about it and I wished things were different for us, but they weren’t.
We walked back home together, parting ways with Mom. I told him about all the fun things we could do the next weekend to cheer him up. He asked about Brendan again and I tried to brush away the answer. I just hoped he wouldn’t get too suspicious and hold it against me.
