Page 20 of Brendan (The Doherty Mafia)
I was in the spotlight now and I could barely make myself look at him. Rosalie turned to me finally, still trying to shield her son from me for some reason.
“That is…he’s someone I work with. He is just about to leave,” she replied.
Davey stared at me sleepily as I backed away to the door.
Minutes before, I refused to leave without an explanation from Rosalie. Now, I was practically halfway out of the door already. Kids had that effect on me. Rosalie was lucky she had a kid, because that meant she would get the space from me she’d been asking for.
“What’s your name?” Davey asked as I opened the door. It was funny he wanted to know that just as I was leaving.
“I’m Brendan, and it’s nice to meet you, Davey,” I replied. I could feel my forehead breaking into a sweat already.
He waved at me, smiling from ear to ear now.
“Goodnight, Brendan,” he said, and I had to admit I loved the way he said my name. It was adorable.
Eleven
Rosalie
When I woke up the next morning I realized I’d spent the night in Davey’s room. His bed was too tiny for the both of us so I’d ended up sleeping on the floor. I woke up groggily and checked my watch. We were going to be late.
I jumped up and went to the kitchen to get breakfast going. Then I went in to wake him up.
He looked so peaceful and sweet as he slept that I was almost tempted to let him sleep a while longer. I wished I could take liberties like that. But if he stayed home from kindergarten that day, I would have to take off from work and that would mean a serious loss of income which we couldn’t afford.
I gently stroked Davey’s hair until he fluttered his eyelids open.
“Mommy?” he murmured. I pulled him up in my arms and kissed his face.
“Hi, honey. Good morning. We’re going to be late so we have to hurry, okay?”
He nodded his head quietly as I took him to the bathroom. We stood at the basin together as we brushed our teeth and washed our faces. When he splashed some water at me, I splashed some back at him. That sent him scurrying and giggling out of the bathroom.
I helped him change and then I changed too.
We sat together at the kitchen table to eat our eggs and toast. Davey seemed to have forgotten all about the previous night. He didn’t ask me any questions about Brendan and didn’t seem to remember his nightmare either.
I wanted it to stay that way.
I never slept around—as a rule. I had made this decision a long time ago, around the time that Davey was born. I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes my mother did. I didn’t want to confuse Davey by introducing men into his life…only to have them walk out of his life again.
I had grown up feeling abandoned by my father, and then feeling miserable and unloved by the men my mother chose to have relationships with. Even though I’d forgiven my mother for the mistakes she made, I knew I would never forgive myself if I made the same ones around Davey.
Brendan was the first man my son had seen in our apartment, and I didn’t want that to happen again.
I regretted everything.
I shouldn’t even have let him into the apartment. And then I lost control and…and got intimate with him! What if Davey had woken up ten minutes sooner? I shuddered at the thought of that.
When Brendan saw a kid in my apartment, he left pretty quickly. It was all the convincing he needed to leave me alone. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe Davey waking up was exactly what I needed to rid myself of Brendan Doherty’s magic spell.
I dropped Davey off and watched him hopping away with his friends. He looked happy and content, throwing excited looks over his shoulder at me and waving. I waved back, waiting until the last moment to leave—after he was safely inside the building.
I missed him already. I missed him all the time when we were apart. I wished every day that we would get more time together. That I wouldn’t have to spend so much time away from him. But I had no other choice.
And now I was doubly convinced that I wasn’t going to waste the little free time I did have—on Brendan or any other man. There was no space for anyone else in my life.
I made my way in the direction of the diner. It wasn’t too far from Davey’s kindergarten and I was going to walk there to save some money.
My head was filled with thoughts—of confusion, guilt and anger.
I still couldn’t believe Brendan had shown up at my apartment. I didn’t know if I would ever forgive Rocky for giving him my address. Even worse was the fact that I had been too weak to resist him. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I had thrown myself at him, with the excuse that I was giving him what he wanted to make him go away.
