Page 57 of Be My Vengeance

“Lose ’em, Danny.”

How was he so comfortable with this? Not just being in the shower with another guy, potentially naked, but also with me, a person who he knew was in love with him.

“Alex,” my voice cracked.

His gaze softened. “It’s okay, Danny.”

I focused on his hazel eyes, searching for even a minute twitch of regret or apprehension. Shockingly, I saw none of that. He was as confident as ever, a lot like he used to be once he’d had his sights on someone. I’d always wanted to be on the receiving end of this look, and holy shit I finally was.

“I’m scared,” I whispered.

His breath hitched. “Of me?”

I shook my head. “Not of you, of how you’ll feel after.”

“After the shower?”

“That you’ll be upset or disgusted or a myriad of other words that would mean you run out of here and never want to talk to me or see me again.”

His brows shot up. “I’m of sound mind and body, Danny. I know as soon as you drop those briefs, there’s gonna be a cock just like mine. I know I’m curious, and I feel safe with you to explore and figure out where that curiosity takes me…if that’s something you’re okay with.”

“You are safe with me, Alex, always. But this isn’t like trying a new recipe. You’re going through a whole hell of a lot and if I’m being honest, I have to protect myself, too.”

“Protect yourself? Like condoms?”

I sighed. “My heart, Alex…I mean safe sex is good and should be practiced, but no, I’m referring to my heart. I may have shouted it at you, but I do love you.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “I know, Danny, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t want either of us to be hurt.”

“Danny, I won’t stand here and say all the words you want to hear from me. I can’t promise you any more than this right here. But I do know for some reason I can’t explain, that this feels right. And that’s saying something because every time I’ve found joy in anything or even the tiniest jolt of arousal, I’ve felt as if I were betraying Mila.” He reached out and gently placed his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t want to mess up our friendship, but something is telling me that this is right. Does it feel right to you?”

I couldn’t talk, so I just nodded.

“So why not take it day by day?”

“Uh…yeah.”

He smirked and handed me a loofah. “You can start with washing my back…after you drop the underwear.”

I’d touched Alex before but it had always been in the way of, “Let me clean this bullet wound.” I’d never had the opportunity to do it with reverence.

He had turned away from me, so I slipped out of my briefs and kicked them to the corner of the shower. I poured some body wash onto the loofah, sudsed it all up, and started rubbing in circles along his skin. I’d only ever dreamed of a moment like this, and I thought about pinching my arm to see if it was real, but then he leaned against the shower and his ass stuck out, and now I was wondering if I could wash that, too.

I tried to be as perfunctory as possible for him, but for me this was a sensual experience I’d never forget.

“I think my back is clean.” Alex chuckled.

“Oh, right…uhh.”

He peered over his shoulder. “You’ve showered a lot, you know what’s next.”

Was that his way of saying he wanted me to wash everything? There was only one way to find out. I pressed the loofah to his ass and continued. I focused on every movement, almost laughing at my ridiculousness of getting jealous of the suds for being able to slide on his skin.

I got on my knees to wash his legs, and I was about to stand when he turned around and yep, that was his dick directly in my line of sight, and it wasn’t flaccid.

“Now the front.” I looked up, and he was smirking.