Page 47 of Be My Vengeance

“No, why would I? It’s the last…” I cut myself off.

“Last what, Alex? What were you going to say?”

With a heavy breath, I answered, “Last piece of her I have.” My chest felt heavy, and my eyes began to fill.

“May I ask when she passed?”

“It’s been a year and a month.”

“So you lived a whole year in that house without her, went through all the firsts since she’s been gone. Can you tell me what that was like for you?”

I wiped at my eyes. “Horrible. I don’t even know if there are words to describe the pain every moment without her is.”

“Emotions are sometimes so powerful, there are no words for them.” She handed me a tissue I gratefully took.

“Do you think I should sell the house?”

She chuckled softly. “That’s not how this works. If I told you what to do, you’d never truly heal.”

“I doubt I’ll ever heal,” I mumbled, but she heard me.

“You may always have a bruise that will ache every time you touch it, but the pain won’t always be as severe.”

“Why do people usually sell houses after people die?”

She pursed her lips and hummed. “There are many reasons. Some sell because the cost is too high for them to care for it on their own. Others find they become swamped with the heavy memories and it makes it too hard to heal while living there. Generally those are the two major reasons.”

“Financially I have no issues.”

“Okay, and what about emotionally? When you’re in the house, a year later, what does it feel like?”

“Some days I’ll be sitting in the bedroom or living room, and I swear I can smell her perfume, like she’s right there. For a split second I think she is, and as soon as I realize she’s not, I shatter all over again.”

“That’s a grief trigger.”

I hummed. “In the house, I can fool myself into thinking she’s still there. Maybe off to a salon appointment or a trip with her girlfriends.”

“And once you realize the truth, what happens?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut. “I can hardly get out of bed.”

Leslie leaned forward, her expression full of compassion. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Danny

When Friday came everyone was restless, but we had a very solid plan in place. Today was about taking out as many Russians as we could, and I had faith we’d succeed. Oleg’s people weren’t going to just let us take the man—we needed to be meticulous.

Alex and I were currently in the receiving area of the distribution center. From this vantage point, we could see not only vehicles arriving but also anyone milling about outside.

Toni was playing driver for Maksim and would get him here while Gideon and Penn were in the shipping area, which gave them a good view on the other side of the building. In addition, Gideon had his men scattered all throughout the building.

Toni let us know he was ten minutes out, and Oleg was set to arrive in thirty. It would give us time for last-minute checks.

“I saw that therapist yesterday.” Alex was standing beside me between two large metal storage racks.

“Oh yeah, how’d it go?” I tried to act nonchalant about it, but I’d wanted to ask since he’d gone.