Page 12 of Be My Vengeance

His face pressed into the side of my neck, his tears drenching my skin, and his body vibrated with sadness and rage. His fingers dug into my thigh, and he cried.

“I got you, Alex. I’m right here.”

He started to quiet and slowly, his fingers left my leg and his arms wrapped around me in a bone-crushing embrace. His face pushed infinitely deeper into my neck, and he held on to me for dear life.

It took a while but I knew the moment Alex was fully awake, reality dawning on him as pristine as the sun over the horizon. He stilled, released a soft gasp, and his ironclad grip loosened.

I kept quiet, unsure how’d he’d react to everything just now. As he moved away, I watched his face. His hazel eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks blotchy, his hair matted with sweat, his nose as red as a tomato, and still he was the most beautiful person I’d ever laid eyes on.

“I…” He cleared his voice.

“You don’t have to say anything, Alex.”

He wiped his nose with his hand, his eyes downcast. “I get nightmares.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

“When I wake up, I can’t even remember what they were. I just feel hollow.” I was surprised he was sharing this much with me, but I had a feeling it was because vulnerability was still blanketing him.

“What do you do when you wake up?”

He leaned against the pillow, and I immediately missed his closeness. “Depends. If it’s too early, I’ll use my gym, shower. If it’s morning, I’ll go for a run.”

I nodded. “Well, we’ve only slept for a few hours, but it is morning. How about we go for a run? There’s a small coffee shop two miles up the beach that opens at the ass crack of dawn.”

He met my gaze. I couldn’t read the expression on his face, and the silence was slightly unnerving, but he finally broke it.

“I didn’t bring a change of clothes.”

I snorted. “Remember, you used to crash here a lot. I still have some of your sweats here.”

He scrunched his brow. “You do?”

“Yeah, what else would I have done with them?”

“Give them back?”

“Ha.” I stood and walked to the door. “It’s a good thing I didn’t, or you’d be running in your murder outfit from last night.”

He chuckled, and I was glad to see the ghosts in his eyes dissipate. “Murder outfit?”

“Yup. Speaking of, toss them in a bag so they can be destroyed. You know the drill.”

He sighed and got out of bed. He was just in a pair of briefs, his body sculpted from intense workouts. He wasn’t paying attention to me as he checked his phone, so I allowed myself a few seconds to ogle him. Maybe it was wrong, but these tiny moments were all I’d ever have.

“Okay, where are my sweats?”

I motioned to the dresser. “Kept them in there.”

I didn’t wait; I left to go to my bedroom and put on my workout clothes. I hated thinking that Alex had these nightmares every night when he was alone, waking up to realize they were a reality. Was he reliving her death over and over again?

He was in the same house he’d shared with her, and I couldn’t imagine that helped him, but knowing Alex, he’d never let that place go. It was all he had left of her.

I met Alex in the kitchen, and he tossed me a bottle of water. “Ready?”

I nodded and we made our way outside. The run was quiet, feet to pavement, and when we reached the coffee shop, we both chugged our water and threw the bottles into the recycle bin.

“Is this café new?” Alex asked.