Page 31 of In His Skates

I peel apart the bread and grimace. The coat of mayo is almost as thick as the slice of bread. “Keanu! I can’t eat this.”

“Then don’t.”

I stride toward him. “I mean, you can’t eat it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’ll go straight to my hips!” I reach for his plate, trying to take it away from him, but he turns around and protects it as if it were a treasure.

“Give me a break. It wouldn’t be terrible if you gained a few pounds. You’re too skinny.”

“I’m not too skinny!” I lunge forward, and we both end up on the ground with me on top of Keanu and the half-eaten sandwich splattered on my once-pristine white couch.

“For fuck’s sake, Leigh! You’re crushing me. I can’t breathe!”

I get up as quickly as I can, adjusting the towel, which came loose in the scrum. Then I stare at the chaos I created. I’m an idiot.

“If you wanted to dry hump me, you should have said so,” Keanu adds.

“What a mess!” I run to the kitchen to get the cleaning supplies.

“It’s your fault. I didn’t realize you were that unhinged.”

I ignore him. If I can clean the smear quickly, maybe it won’t stain. I race back to the couch while Keanu veers for the kitchen—probably to eat the sandwich he made for me. Right now, him feasting on fattening food is the least of my worries. I pick up the bits of sandwich, then spray a solution that promises to remove all stains. It says to let it soak for a bit, but I ignore the instructions and start to scrub with a brand-new sponge. It’s hard to tell if it’s doing anything since the area is wet now. Only time will tell if my vigorous rubbing worked.

“I’m sorry about your couch,” Keanu apologizes.

I glance at him, and to my surprise, he looks sincere. He also didn’t touch the second sandwich.

“Don’t worry about it.” I get up, feeling drained.

“So… what now?”

I furrow my brows. “What do you mean?”

He shuffles from side to side as if he doesn’t know how to behave around me anymore. “I thought you wanted to prepare me for the interview.”

“Right. I need to get dressed first. Where’s your duffel bag?”

“You walked right past it. It’s by the stairs.”

I look over my shoulder and see it. “I’ll be right back.”

13 KEANU

After listening to Leigh lecture me about her life for hours, my head is pounding. She made me memorize a bunch of details about her past projects, former costars, and directors. She also gave me boilerplate answers in case Trina Tucker asks questions about Nick Howell, her ex.

I rub my forehead. “Can we take a break?”

Leigh glances at my Breitling watch. “Shoot. I didn’t realize it was already so late. We need to get you ready.”

I stand up, stretching my arms. “All right. You pick the clothes you want me to wear while I hit the shower.”

She jumps from the couch. “You’re not taking a shower by yourself!”

I raise a brow. “Is that so?”

“Oh my God. Get your mind out of the gutter, perv.”