Page 51 of Obey

“Then you know why I stopped.”

“You think I wanted to hurt her?”

“Of course not. But wanting her doesn't mean we get to decide when she's ready.”

Jace looks away, visibly struggling to swallow his frustration.

I understand it better than he realizes.

I can still remember how Sloane felt against me, the way she'd caught my wrist without pushing it away, the desperate little sounds she tried to hold back. Every selfish part of me wanted to keep her there. I wanted to find out what she'd do if I gave her another command, how she'd sound when she finally stopped fighting what she wanted.

But I'd seen the fear in her eyes when she realized how badly she wanted us. I'd felt her trembling, and when she finally pulled away, she'd looked at me like she was expecting us to punish her for it.

I wasn't about to prove her right.

“We handled it badly.” Nate sighs, finally breaks the silence.

The admission surprises me, although he looks anything but remorseful. He's still watching the door, knuckles white where they're pressed into the desk.

Jace lets out a humorless laugh. “That's one way to put it.”

Nate's gaze cuts toward him. “Do you have something useful to contribute, Jace?”

“Yeah. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?” He gestures toward the door. “Send her flowers? Pretend none of this happened? Because I promise you, she's not going to walk in here tomorrow morning with our coffees and a smile.”

“We give her room,” I tell him.

“And if she doesn't come back?”

I don't answer immediately.

For six months, she's been a constant presence in our lives. Her smart mouth, her ridiculous commentary, the way she somehow manages to argue with Nathaniel Blackwell and leave him looking forward to the next disagreement.

The thought of her avoiding us, or worse, handing in her resignation, makes my stomach turn.

But I can't promise Jace she'll come back. Not after what happened.

“She'll make her own decision,” Nate says, each word deliberate as he takes a seat at his desk. “But if Sloane chooses us, I won't spend another six months waisting time.”

Jace glances at him. “You think you're the only one tired of pretending?”

“No,” Nate replies. “I'm quite aware of how little patience either of you has left.”

“Fuck you,” Jace mutters, although some of the fight has finally gone out of him.

Nate ignores him and looks at me. “And you?”

I hold his gaze.

“If she comes back, it's because she wants all of this. Not because we backed her into a corner until she couldn't tell us no.”

Nate considers that for a moment. Then he gives a curt nod.

It's as much agreement as I'm going to get from him right now. Jace drops into the nearest chair, stretching his legs out in front of him. “I fucking hate this.”

“So do I,” I admit as I push away from the wall, resisting the urge to check the hallway for any sign of her.

For once, all three of us want something we can't buy, negotiate, or take control of.