Page 78 of Not Like The Other Girls

“Well, you destroyed my stupid nets, for one.”

Then Every adds. “And two, you fucked with me and my girl for the whole first phase of our relationship.”

Lily gives him a weird look.

“Figure of speech.” He raises his strong, corded arms in mock surrender. Then he turns to Fernando. “But at least you gave our story a villain, so thank you for that.”

“Why do we need a villain?” Lily asks him.

And this is probably her most useful question in the whole novel.

“Because a hero cannot win without a villain. You see, without Fernando, I, a hero and a winner, will have nothing to do.”

“We can go shopping instead.”

“But that way, our story wouldn’t reach even ten thousand words.”

“Oh.” Lily nods slowly, feigning understanding.

Fernando bares his sharp canines, impatient. He sure doesn’t want to hear the sappy dialogue between the two young lovers.

No one in the room does.

Glycogen the Bodyguard clears his throat, turning to Ferny. “I believe we can all agree that the mouse king and his mice would now leave Fairyland, and not step foot here again?”

At least someone here has a long-ish attention span.

Fernando the ketchup guy looks back at him, nonchalant. “And who are you to get me to agree with your terms?”

“I’m Gilly, my lady’s guard and consort.” The man looks back at him.

No one saw this twist coming.

A total bomb, sending maybe even more shockwaves and surprise than the war that occurred this morning.

The whole room turns to stare at him, seated beside his lady.

Even the previously-asleep alien warlord wakes up from his dreams to watch the ongoing drama.

Fernando nods sarcastically, unbelieving. “Since when?”

“Oh, since always. I’m just really low-key about it. Unlike someone here talking to me right now who somehow sees the need to inform every life he meets of his villain status.”

The mouse king grumbles. “Damn.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re a total bastard when you talk, you know that?”

“Yeah,” the bodyguard repeats.

Then Every finally catches up with the ongoing conversation. He turns to his childhood best friend. “Really, Queeny, that guy?”

She shrugs, her wings glimmering. “What’s wrong with him?”

“I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

She smiles now. “Well, I could say the exact same thing about your girl, Lily. I’ve always expected you to marry one of those party buddies of yours.” Then she turns to the mouse king with a gesture of her hand. “I believe the exit is over there, Fernando. Can you see it? That door handcrafted from cola-flavored gummy stripes?”