Page 70 of Not Like The Other Girls

The fight, which is now turning dangerously like a humiliation ritual, drags on, and adding the chilly weather of the outskirts of this wintry wonderland into the mix, Lily starts getting really bored. At one point, with her man screaming something and something, and Ferny trying to bite his leg over the thick pink pajamas, she daydreams of bringing a pack of salted caramel popcorn and a lawn chair to watch the male catfight going on.

It’ll be like a free, live, personal wrestling show.

Too bad it’s at the expense of her man.

And she loves him more than anything else in the world.

Even wrestling fights.

CHAPTER 23: I CAME, I COME, I’M COMING

But the Armice, as Queeny calls them, are much, much more organized than her side—which could only be described as one crazy (sexless) orgy—would ever be.

And so, they have a plan.

They always do, unlike her side, which just goes wherever the wind blows.

The hero and villain of the story continued fighting for a while longer for the sake of it, until their stamina drained and their tongues were lolling out like stray dogs.

As the men pant in equal exhaustion and finally give up attempting to tear each other’s hair off, Lily Lilian Lancelot gives both strong men a thumbs up. “Nice work.”

What is this, the He-Man galaxies?

We’re just missing the magic sword.

“I can’t take it anymore,” Every pleads.

In his fight, he means.

“Neither can I,” Fernando huffs out, sending a stray drop of sweat down to Every’s face as he shakes his shaggy head.

Disgusting.

“Gonna drop down and die in three, two, one.” Every plops down onto the thin blanket of snow, lying there with his eyes closed.

“Are you dead?” his sweet girl asks matter-of-factly.

His lips move. “No, just resting.”

Fernando huffs, now sprawled on the ground beside him in a cozy little moment of cordiality. “I guess not. You’re still not done yapping”

“I’d never be.”

Lily’s man relaxes his body, thinking he had tired down his enemy to bloody skins and weary bones and salty drops of sweat. And how wrong is he.

Again.

Lily contemplates helping her man by pushing Fernando back down as he staggers up from the ground, but decides against it for plot reasons. The mouse king grabs a protein bar from his jean pocket—write this down, this is where shit starts to go south—and munches. Then he walks away.

Too bad Every is too tired to go after him now.

Lily stares at him in confusion.

A mouse man comes running towards her again once more, threatening her with his ugly-mug of a face. If one could even call it a face at all. She just gives him the bird. He understands and starts walking away, also munching a protein bar ripped straight from his pocket.

So civil. Huh.

At that moment, the exceedingly annoying speakers in the background are cranked up even louder with the thrilling villain theme song. The jolly voice of the mouse king comes through a moment after, and paired with the theme, pains Lily’s brain enough to give her an onset of migraine. Or a faux brain aneurysm.