Page 52 of Not Like The Other Girls

And the high-pitched squeals of Fernando when he fell off the rainbow, though it turns out he is back again.

“Every, my man, you probably suspect I forgot everything I learned in uni the moment I got my graduation certificate. And guess what? I actually forgot them even before that: right after my exams, and many times even before.”

“I would never think such negatively about you, trust me.” Every says this out of respect for his best friend.

“Nah, you don’t have to play formal. Actually, I’m hungry. Let’s go eat some things.”

And just like that, the rag-tag group of idiots moves to the dining hall, away from the serious, overrated throne room. The interior layout is exactly the same as Lily remembered from her erstwhile visit, a sugar-high room with enough sweets laden on the sailor-cracker table to send a normal human being into a sugar coma.

Good thing these idiots are all fairies, then.

“So,” Every starts, “any idea how you’re gonna fuck up the intruder’s ass?”

“Fist it,” Queeny replies nonchalantly, making her childhood friend wince.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Then why’d you word the question that way in the first place?”

The unintelligent CEO gives her a blank look, his pink lips pinched together in a tight line, dying inside.

Slowly dying, slowly rotting away from the ultimate killer disease of terminal stupidity.

How saddening.

So the sugar plum fairy takes that as her cue to continue. “Anyway, you get started, guys. I’ve got a facial booked in an hour. Chop chop.”

Every makes the confused dog meme face at her. “You mean you don’t have any concrete plan on this or any desire to whisk one up?”

“Nope,” she says, popping the P, “I’ll just sit here and watch while you and Gilly discuss the logistics. Remember when I went to uni?”

“Of course, you called every day complaining about the workload.”

“Gilly also went with me as my bodyguard, and he sure remembers every single word that came out of Ms.Kendra’s putrid mouth.”

The bodyguard man just grunts.

That must be a yes, then.

“He actually was the one doing all the lecturing and homework for me. And my sweet baby boy even helped me cheat. On the finals, I mean. And twice.”

Every just sighs for the tenth time in this visit, as if not surprised by her antics. “I should call the university and inform them of that, then. You’d have your degree revoked. What will the population of Fairyland think about that?”

The tall woman bares her teeth ferociously, like a rabid hyena. “You’re kinda mean this time, Every-boy, and I don’t like it one bit.”

“Nah, I’m just pissed.”



So for the next hour or so, they—or more specifically Glycogen the Guard, with the help of Every the CEO—come up with the groundwork and blueprints for defending their sweet little hometown from evil intruders. And it can’t be that difficult, since the said intruders are in fact an army of mice in cute little bow ties. But then again, this town ain’t any town either, but rather a town built solely from snacks.

And we all know that snacks and mice don’t mix.

When they do, the outcome would be missing snacks and pot-bellied mice.

Quite shitty.

“Fuck.” Lily-girl rakes a hand through her already messy hair, making it even messier. The situation sure frustrates her, even though she doesn't exactly understand half of what they’re talking about.