Page 69 of Gone with the Rake

“Can he do that?” She walked over to him and reached out her hand, needing to feel his warmth and solidity—something to anchor herself against the rising tide of panic. But he stepped away, leaving her hand suspended in mid-air.

“He can do whatever he likes.” He finally met her gaze, and she wished he hadn’t. She could see defeat in them. He had given up.

“But you will be of age. You can refuse!” Her voice rose in tandem with her panic. “And what about our plans—the marriage?”

His shoulders slumped. “We will have to postpone that.”

The room seemed to tilt beneath her feet. He didn’t want to marry her anymore. Perhaps he never did.

“For how long?” she managed to ask.

His voice cracked. “T-two years.”

Two years away after college, which added up to three years of waiting. Her heart plummeted, although the pulse drummed loudly in her ears.

They stood there in silence, only a few feet apart, but Lily felt as if there was a gulf between them already.

“And what am I supposed to do for all this time?” She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold despite the roaring fire. Three years. Over one thousand days. It seemed like a lot. At the same time, it could be nothing if she was certain he’d return to her.

He didn’t answer.

“So, you agreed to this?”

“I have no choice!” he snapped.

“Yes, you do!”

“What should I do, then?” His voice rose even more, a vein pulsing at his temple. His face flushed with anger or anguish—she couldn’t tell which.

“Marry me. Right now.” The words rushed out before she could stop them. “We can elope.”

He looked away. And although he hadn’t spoken, no words were necessary to guess his answer.

“You will not do that, will you?” Her voice was barely above a whisper now.

He let out a defeated sigh. “I have to do what my father tells me, or he will disinherit me.”

“Since when did you start caring about that?” she asked sharply. “I thought you said love is enough.”

He grimaced, running a hand through his already-disheveled hair. “I don’t know if it is, Lily. I love you, and that will never change, but…” His voice faltered. “I am not ready to take on the world yet.”

Each word struck like a physical blow. Tears pricked behind her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “Not even for me?”

“I am doing this for you!” His eyes flashed with sudden fervor. “If we marry, I will be left with nothing. No money, no place to stay, no job. We will be ostracized from society. We’ll have no friends or family, no support. I can’t…” His voice broke. “I can’t subject you to this life.”

A harsh laugh escaped her, surprising them both. “But you can subject me to this?” She gestured around the room. “Being your maid and cleaning your clothes and your house while you’re off frolicking God knows where, doing God knows what with God knows whom for three whole years? Do you expect me to continue cleaning your house while you’re marrying someone else, too?”

“That would never happen.” He reached for her but stopped short. “I will come back and—”

“You are naive if you think that your father will ever let us get married.” Her voice was steady now, cold with certainty. “And you must think me an idiot if you think I will believe you will come back for me.”

“I will.” The anguish in his eyes almost made her believe him. Almost.

She looked away, unable to bear the sight of him any longer. “I am not certain I will still be here.”

He reached for her hand, desperation in every line of his body, but it was her turn to step away. The gold signet ring on his finger caught the firelight, a reminder of everything he was choosing over her. The ruby ring on her finger gave an answering glow.

You vowed to marry me.