Page 99 of The Notorious Lady

Anticlimactic.

No, depressing.

And while Grace was happy her life was back to the way it was and tonight was a celebration, a constant nagging sadness settled deep within her.

“Grace!” Colette’s panicked voice sounded behind her. Grace turned to see Colette running toward her, her face flushed, her wig askew. “Trouble in your office. Come quick!”

“Megs, take my place,” Grace threw over her shoulder and dashed after Colette.

Colette opened the door to her office, ushering Grace inside. As Grace walked past her, she noticed a sly smile. Then, the door closed behind her.

Grace glanced back at the door and then inside the room only to see Ford, leaning his hips against her desk. Her heart skipped a beat, her mouth going dry. She was happy that paint covered her face, so he could not decipher her bewildered expression. At least, she hoped he couldn’t.

“Trouble in my office,” Grace said, then cursed under her breath. What an actress Colette was. She wasn’t exactly wrong, though.

Grace took off her wig and threw it onto the armchair by the window. “What brings you here?”

“You,” he said simply.

Grace swallowed. “What about me?”

“I came here—” He pushed off the desk, and Grace took a step back. He stilled, not advancing any farther. “I spent the entire month thinking about you. I can’t… No, I don’t want to live without you, Grace. I want you back in my life.”

Grace gripped the skirt of her gown tightly to hide her trembling fingers.

“I… I know that you want me, Ford. But that’s not enough.”

“No,” he said firmly and took a step forward. “That’s not enough. The intense desire we feel for each other, the way our bodies ignite like fireworks when we’re together - that’s powerful, but it’s not the whole story. What we have goes beyond that. Beyond the physical.”

She shook her head.

“Yes.” He took another step. “I want you. I want your body. I think about having you in my bed, on the floor, on the horse, or anywhere, really, constantly. And yes, making love with you is one of the best experiences I’ve had in my life. But if you said we’d have to abstain from that if we were to be together, I would be fine with that.” A lopsided smile graced his lips. “A little sad and randy all the time, but fine. As long as you are by my side.”

She let out a strangled chuckle.

“I don’t just miss your body, Grace. I miss your spirit. Your determination. Your courage. Your goodness. Your heart. Your soul. I miss the way your eyes turn into rectangles when you’re annoyed with me. I love the crinkle in your brows when you’ve thought of something funny. I love your wit, your intelligence, your resourcefulness. I love that you didn’t let your childhood break you. Instead, you soared like a phoenix from the ashes and built a pleasure castle from the dirt. I love everything about you.” He took a step with every sentence and now he stood directly in front of her, only an inch away. “Yes, I said love. Because I love you.”

Grace shook her head again, her voice breaking. “You can’t.”

“I can and I do.” He took her hands in his.

“I am a harlot. I have lived on the streets. I pleasured men in dirty alleys. I stole.” She let out a huff of nervous laughter. “I even killed. Yes, I did, I had to. I opened the most depraved brothel in London, and I am not going to leave it behind.”

He squeezed her fingers. “I still love you.”

She licked her lips. “I cannot be a proper wife for a thief-taker. You cannot have a criminal for a wife.”

He nodded. “I didn’t say I wanted you to marry me.”

She shuddered, startled. “Y-you don’t want that?”

He tucked a wayward lock of hair behind her ear. “Oh, I want that. But I didn’t say that. I want all of you. And that includes the fact that you don’t want to get married. You have a lot to lose, and I appreciate that. You built this pleasure house from ground up and I would not dream to take it away from you even on paper. I am willing—no—I desire to live in sin with you. I don’t want your things, your wealth, and everything you’ve worked hard for. I want you to retain your independence. I just want to stand by your side and watch you soar.”

Grace swallowed, her eyes misting with tears. “I don’t believe in sins,” she said through a wobbly smile.

“Then, will you live with me as my wife in all senses of the word except for the official record?”

She laughed and nodded. “Yes. I will.”