Page 54 of The Player

Drew glanced out at the dark street, then at her again. “I thought maybe . . .”

Nicole waited, one hand dropping to hold her opposite elbow. He wished she’d help him out a little, but what the hell was she supposed to do? The least he could do was tell her why.

“I thought maybe I could stay here tonight.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Stay here?”

“To sleep.”

“Just sleep?”

“Yeah.” Drew tightened his grip on the strap. “Just sleep. I’m fucking exhausted.” He made himself look her in the eye for the rest. “And I didn’t want to sleep alone.”

Nicole’s hand fell away from her elbow, and she studied his face long enough for Drew to wonder if he’d finally pushed this too far.

Then she nodded. “Okay.”

Drew didn’t move. He’d half-expected her to laugh at him and shut the door in his face. “Okay?”

“Come inside before you fall asleep standing up.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Nicole closed the door and turned back to Drew. He was standing just inside the living room with the overnight bag still hanging from his shoulder. Now that she could see him in the light, he looked wiped out. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he could barely stand up straight.

“What happened today?”

Drew gave her half a shrug. “Same old, same old.”

Nicole crossed her arms and waited. She didn’t need him to spill his guts on her living-room floor. After the night she’d had, sleeping beside him sounded pretty damn good. Still, same old, same old wasn’t much of an answer.

“I spent two hours taking pictures for a Heisman poster.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Hell of a time for it.”

“After Saturday?”

“Yeah.” His hand fell to his side. “Might’ve lost the fucking thing, and there I am posing for it.”

Nicole let her arms drop. “You still played a great game.”

“But we lost. I can’t afford another game like that.”

“And now you’re thinking about April.”

His eyes came back to hers. “I know one game doesn’t erase everything I’ve done.”

“But you’re still wondering.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. Then he shook his head. “Fuck. Listen to me. I’m standing here bitching about a Heisman and how high I get drafted. Most guys would kill to have those problems.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t worry about them.” Nicole stepped closer. “You’ve worked for this your whole life. Of course you’re scared of losing it. And everybody keeps asking you what happens next when you’re still trying to get past Saturday.”

Drew rubbed a hand over his face.

“Then you have to get up and do it all again,” she said. “Go to class, go to practice, stand there for pictures. Like none of it’s getting to you.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love football. But it’s like being good isn’t enough. I’ve gotta be the best every fucking time I step on the field, or I’m letting everybody down.”

“Drew, it’s okay to be tired. You don’t have to pretend this is easy just because it’s everything you wanted. Especially not with me. If anybody gets it, it’s me. My dad used to say the same thing. He loved playing. It was everything he’d ever wanted, but some days he just needed people to leave him the hell alone.”