Page 50 of Dead Men Tell No Shells

“He wanted to show the officer what he'd found.”

“Why would he do that? Did he think the spoon might be historically significant?”

“He did, as a matter of fact.”

“Mom, it's a spoon.”

“It was very old-looking.”

“It was rusty.”

“I believe those two things can be true at the same time.”

I rubbed my forehead, struggling to decide whether to laugh or start worrying about what the officer might have had to explain to my father. “Please tell me he didn't get arrested.”

“Of course not. The officer was very nice. He explained the rules about digging in the area, and your father listened carefully.”

“Did he?”

“Well, he listened while the officer was talking. Whether the information will remain in his head is another matter.”

“That’s not exactly reassuring.”

“No, darling, it isn't.”

I looked at the third photograph. Dad stood beside a large sign, metal detector in hand, wearing the same proud expression he'd had in the first two pictures. The sign was impossible to miss.

NO FIRES

NO BBQs

NO DIGGING

PLEASE CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR DOG

I stared at it for several seconds before laughter escaped me. I tried to stop. I really did, but the sight of Dad standing there with his metal detector and his rusty spoon, apparently determined to document his triumph beside a sign that specifically prohibited the activity he'd been enjoying, was too much.

“Your father insists the sign wasn't there when he started,” Mom said. ”You see, he found the spoon partially buried, then dug it up with his hands.”

I laughed harder. “I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't encourage him, but the photograph makes it look as though he's posing for a public-service announcement about what not to do at a campground.”

“I'm serious, Max.”

“That's the problem. I can tell you're serious.”

“He says the sign must have been put up afterward.”

“Because the authorities saw him digging?”

“Your father prefers not to speculate about the timing. He's also pointed out that the sign doesn't actually say anything about metal detectors.”

I pressed my lips together, attempting to regain control of myself. It didn't work. “Mom, please tell him that a sign saying ‘No digging’ means he shouldn't use a metal detector to find things and then dig them up.”

“I've tried.”

“And?”

“He says he was only looking and brushing away surface dirt.”