And perhaps, even though he sat upright and held her and felt alive, he really wasn’t.
Perhaps, together with Leitis and his seventh child, he had died.
Only, he didn’t know it yet.
One thing he did know was that he would never love again.
CHAPTER 1
Irish Sea near Isle of Achleith, Scotland, July 2022
Dr. Jennifer Foster spread her right arm into the space beyond the charter boat. As seawater sprinkled all over her face and her bright, salad-green and lemon-yellow dress with purple flowers, she squealed.
Her girlfriends, sitting by her side at the end of the boat, squealed with her. They all held plastic champagne glasses.
“Shh,” said Natalie drunkenly, “your champagne is sticking out.”
Natalie made a movement to shove the dark-green neck of the bottle back into Amanda’s purse, but her hand slipped, and she giggled. So did Jenny, Kyla, and Amanda.
“I don’t think MacGrumpy over there will tell MacBoss,” said Amanda, then drank the rest of her champagne from the glass in one gulp and took the bottle back out from her purse. “Not for the tip we’re going to give him.”
While Amanda poured more bubbly into her glass, the boat jumped on the waves, and she poured half of her serving onto the deck. Jenny raised her glass.
“Here’s to us,” Jenny toasted. “Four strong, independent women in their prime! We have our careers, our money, and can eat our cake, too!”
“Yeah!” echoed her girlfriends, clinking their four glasses together.
Amanda added over the edge of her glass, “And to the sexy Scottish guys I’ve been banging for a week… And Jenny has not!”
Jenny flashed a glare at her best friend but said nothing. She threw back the drink and the bubbles tickled her throat. “I also did not get divorced recently.”
“Not recently,” said Kyla as she tucked her shining, dark hair behind her ear. “You did three years ago, and you still haven’t slept with anybody.”
Jenny scoffed. “Pfff. Like it’s a bad thing.”
“Excuse me!” cried Amanda as she struggled to keep her blond hair out of her eyes. “Sweetie, I love you, but you sound a little judgmental.”
Natalie looked between them. She was sporting gorgeous designer sunglasses and a bright-red sundress that was striking against her dark skin. After a week away from her two kids, with more hours to sleep and time to breathe, she looked fresh and full of energy. “Girls, don’t fight. I know what’ll help!” She took the bottle of champagne from Amanda’s hand. “This!”
As she poured more champagne, emptying the bottle, Jenny glanced at her and at Kyla. “I always wanted what Kyla and Natalie have. Kids. Family. And yet, I’m thirty-nine, and…”
She trailed off, unable to say the words. The brilliant blue sky—so rare for Scotland—and the sapphire seawater hurt her eyes. Tightness in her throat didn’t let any words out.
What she wanted to say was, she was thirty-nine and her time was running out. She had had three unsuccessful IVF rounds with a sperm donor in the past two years. The IVF failed to implant because of her endometriosis, no doubt, an incredibly painful condition she had lived with her whole life. Her periods had been agony. She had learned to manage it and live with it, but the worst thing was that her chance of getting pregnant and carrying her own child in a natural way was very small.
Her last chance to have her own baby was in fourteen days. The fertility clinic was booked a year in advance, and that was the only time slot they had for her to start the hormone treatment to extract her last viable eggs and freeze them.
She couldn’t even think about sleeping with anyone…
“And,” Amanda continued for her after a long pause, “you’re one of the most sought-after private pediatric doctors in New York City, together with me, your partner. You and I have a thriving practice, help a lot of kids get well, and…excuse me for bragging, but we’re not exactly hurting for money.”
“Amanda!” said Natalie.
“Oh, come on,” said Kyla. “It’s not like they’re using the kids. They deserve their success. It’s you and I who are stuck at home wiping snotty noses and chasing after preschoolers.”
Jenny smiled. “I want to chase after preschoolers,” she said to Natalie and Kyla.
Her life felt incomplete without a child of her own. Something big and sweet was missing, and that emptiness was like a giant hole in her soul that sucked and ached.