Page 44 of Shackled By Shadows

Quieting my mind is going to be a battle in itself. For so long, it has been my only company. Even when I don’t always agree with my own thoughts, they keep me distracted from reality.

But I do as Ash instructs, or at least, I try.

I sit there for what feels like an eternity, wrestling with the chaos in my head. The thoughts keep coming: memories, images, voices. I have no control over the flood, no matter how hard I try.

Damn it.

Finally, I snap, eyes flying open. “This isn’t working! It’s a stupid exercise anyway!”

Ash doesn’t look the least bit fazed. In fact, he smiles. “If it were going to be easy, you wouldn’t need me now, would you?” he says smoothly. “Try this: count to a hundred. Focus only on your current number. No other thoughts. If you get distracted, if a single thought breaks through your focus, start over from one.”

He leans back against a tree, as casual as ever.

“Once you reach a hundred, let the numbers fade. Sit in the stillness of your mind. In that silence, see if you can sense your magic calling to you.”

I shoot him a glare but obey, closing my eyes and drawing in a deep breath.

One . . . two . . . three—Oberon telling me, “I will kill them.”

Shit.

One . . . two . . . three—My brother Griffin's voice, his face. “Come, little one, I will show you how.”

Damn it.

One . . . two . . . three—My Mother's voice singing softly to me,

“Close your eyes, my little star.

Dream of lands both near and far.

Let the wind sing soft and sweet.

Feel the earth beneath your feet.”

I start humming along before realizing I have been lost in the memory.

Ugh. Focus.

It feels impossible. But I don’t give up. I sit there, silent, restarting the count over and over. Sometimes I make it a little further. Sometimes I barely get past three.

Thirty-three. That is my record before—CRUNCH.

My eyes fly open.

Ash leans casually against a tree, rifling through his bag and munching on an apple.

I glare at him. “Really?”

He grins around a bite. “Don’t mind me.”

With a groan, I close my eyes again.

One . . . two . . . three . . .

I don’t know how much time passes or how many memories and echoing voices force me to start over before I finally make it to a hundred.

And for the first time, my mind is completely blank.