Page 10 of Wayward Daughter

Um, I was pretty sure Saul wasn’t thinking about punching his coworkers in the dicks so they didn’t get torn apart by whatever was in that house.

Logan-Depends, sunshine. What are you thinking?

Saul-We need to OSHA the Church. Going into that house without proper tools is a safety regulation.

Logan-Did you just call me a tool?

Saul-I did construction in high school. Tools can be sexy and useful. Focus. Two person rule. It’s science.

Logan-I’m confused? Except for the part you called me a sexy power drill. Which is also confusing.

Saul-You know how in the movies, the really dangerous stuff has two keys and two people have to turn them? We’re going to be the keys. Solomon is on board because he wants to read your books and thinks the partnership would be beneficial. Caleb thinks so too, but he’s never going to get permission and he’d never break the rules. But I would. Sometimes, it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission and if this is as big as I think it is, they will forgive me.

Logan-They could kick you out. I was going to get involved no matter what.

Saul-I’m a big boy. Literally. This has a better chance of working if we’re all on the same page. We’ll be a new secret organization. We’re going to call ourselves Ctrl Alt Elite.

Did I hate that name? I actually didn’t. And I’d never set foot in a church in my entire life unless it was for a job. I knew being a priest was a calling. Saul wasn’t like any priest I’d ever met, but if he didn’t want to be there, there was nothing stopping him from leaving. He wanted to be a priest. I was going to meddle no matter what happened because this was important. I just didn’t want to take Saul’s vocation away from him.

Logan-Do I get veto powers?

Saul-I’m all about girl power. Do we need a safe word?

Logan-What do you know about safe words?

Saul-I wasn’t always a priest, Logan. Keep an eye on your phone. We’re on a secret mission. Solomon is buried in his books and Caleb is finding out everything he can about that house. You’re going to love our toys. I get the fly the drone sometimes. Last time, I accidentally flew it into a bathroom window where a woman was showering and it caused problems, so I’m on a time out with the drone. Stay near your phone. I’ll let you know what we find out.

Pan had been lying in my lap reading the messages as they came in. I was probably the only person on the planet who taught their dog to read, but mine was able to ask me to. It came in handy all the time because he could read things I couldn’t if he was just pretending to be a friendly mutt. I asked Delilah, and she said all Hellhounds knew how to read if they grew up in Hell, but there was something she was leaving out.

She’d tell me, eventually.

“So, that happened.”

“It’s a good thing. You were going to do it anyway and now you’ve got the inside scoop.”

“Call me an idiot, but I kind of like the guy. I don’t want him to be forced out of something he considers his calling. His bosses could have put the kibosh on the whole celibacy thing and paying priests, but not nuns ages ago. And why can’t women run things? It’s stupid. They won’t like him working with me and it’s not just because they think I’m invoking Satan. It’s because I have boobs.”

“He knows his bosses better than you do. He said the broody one was open to it too. We keep trying to tell them not all supernaturals are bad. You’re doing the same thing.”

“Harsh, Pan.”

“But true. Scratch my butt and tell me I’m pretty.”

“Who’s a pretty boy?” I said.

Pan’s tongue lolled as I scratched his booty. I always wondered why he didn’t bring the Hellhound out when we were alone.

“You know it’s me. Delilah next?”

“You just want to see your girlfriend.”

“Delilah is not my girlfriend.”

“I was talking about that cute chihuahua the witch just decided was her familiar.”

“I’m going to poop in your shoe later.”

“If you defile my shoes, I’m going to figure out how to neuter a Hellhound.”