Page 49 of These Endless Nights

“Let’s sleep,” I agreed. The very last thing the beast and I wanted now was to leave Quinn’s side. If we couldn’t be there, at least we could monitor him from our spot in the living room.

Quinn surprised us yet again, though. Without a word, he slid his hand into ours and led me through the dark hallway, to the small bedroom at the back of his cottage. He stretched out on the bed, tugging me after him until I lay behind him, curled as close as I could get without actually touching him.

“Is this alright?” he whispered into the darkness. “I don’t think I’m ready for more, but having you close is nice.”

“This is good. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.”

He nodded, barely visible even with the beast’s keen eyes. “I like when you hold my hand and when we sit together on the couch.”

“But me holding onto you like that was too much,” I guessed.

“I think so. It brought up some bad memories,” he agreed. “I want to change that, but it’ll take time. And maybe… maybe we can work up to trying another kiss eventually?”

“If that’s what you want,” I agreed. “There’s no rush, though. We’ll only do what we’re both comfortable with, okay?”

Quinn huffed a soft laugh. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re actually real or if this is all some crazy dream.”

“A good dream, I hope?”

“A very good dream.” He sighed, nestling down beneath the comforter. He took a breath as if he were going to say something else, then thought better of it and let the silence wrap around us. It took awhile, but eventually his breathing settled and he fell asleep, but not us. The beast and I stayed awake, keeping watch over our human. Our mate. Our Quinn.

Chapter 19

Quinn

I kissed Typhon.

Typhon kissed me back.

My thoughts spiraled, circling around and around that moment when Typhon's lips touched mine and set my body on fire. It'd been so long since I'd felt any sort of attraction to anyone, long enough that I'd been wondering if I even could or if Aaron had broken me. The long, empty nights I'd spent alone in the hospital with nothing but my thoughts for company, I'd begun to fear I'd be alone forever. Covered in bruises, my skin stitched together from his assault, the thought of physical intimacy with another person left me sick and shaking. Coupled with the fear that took over my life, I knew no one would want me.

Then Typhon found me and turned my world on its head.

For all his claims of being dangerous, warning me to be wary of the beast, he was the gentlest person I'd met in a very long time. He didn't play games, didn't try to hide how much he wanted me, giving my anxiety and self-doubt no room to take root, and for the first time in ages, I wanted it. I wanted someone's lips on mine.

No, not just someone. Typhon.

I wanted to feel his warm hands on me again, but that wasn't why he occupied my every waking thought now. Well, not the only reason, anyway.

It was the way he'd stopped.

The thin sweatpants Typhon wore last night did nothing to hide his arousal, and when I'd pressed against him, I could feel how hard he was. For one split second, that desperate want overwhelmed me. I wanted to feel him inside me, to feel his body on top of mine as he drove into me.

Then the memories I kept locked down broke free and sent fear surging through me, drowning my desire in an instant. I remembered the last time someone had been on top of me, remembered the terror, the coppery smell of blood, and the sharp, agonizing pain. In my mind, the hands on me were his, and it was all I could do not to scream.

It happened in an instant, between one kiss and the next, but Typhon noticed. Ignoring his own arousal, he stopped, giving me the space I needed to clear my head and put the memories back in the box where they belonged. Most importantly, though… he didn't ask questions. Not the hard ones, anyway. I knew he wanted to; I could see it in his eyes, but instead of asking why I was the way I was, he took care of me and let me breathe.

Was it wrong to fall in love with the shapeshifting monster that used to live in my woods? Was it better or worse than falling in love with the human-shaped monster that used to live in my house?

Romulus perked up from his spot by the door and barked once, interrupting my spiraling thoughts. The two of us were here, so Rom had to have heard someone coming up the driveway.

I still don’t know where I found the courage to bring Typhon into my bed. I knew I’d never be able to sleep, not when the memories were so close to the surface, so I guess I thought we’d talk once we settled? Yet as we lay in the pre-dawn darkness, it felt safe to admit some truths I never thought I’d have the courage to examine. And rather than get annoyed with my limits, Typhon accepted them without hesitation. He accepted me. For the first time in years, I’d felt safe falling asleep with someone else in my bed.

Over an early breakfast, accompanied by shy smiles on my part every time our eyes met, we'd agreed to call Lain and meet his friends. I'd hoped for a day or two more with Typhon, but after a flurry of text messages, Lain called me back to say everyone would be at my place in an hour.

"Looks like our time is up," I murmured. Rom headed for the front door, and I followed, trying to steel myself for this. Knowing Lain would be here helped some of my anxiety, but bringing anyone else into this still felt wrong. The last thing I wanted was for someone to get hurt because of me. It was too late to worry now, though.

Typhon joined me at the door, offering me his hand before I had time to make it awkward. I took it without hesitation, then let out a slow breath and opened the door when I heard footsteps on the porch. The sun was still hidden behind the horizon, but the first early rays stretched across the mountains. My security lights dispelled the last of the darkness, giving me a clear view of our guests.