Page 59 of Lick

“Is he hot?”

“Oh yeah. He’s a biker, and he’s twenty-eight.”

“Damn, Mom, you’re a cougar.”

I roll my eyes. “Thanks for that. Something I’ve always aspired to be.”

“And he’s the baby daddy?”

I nod, unable to speak around the lump in my throat for a moment.

She tips her head back to look at me, her expression creasing into one of concern. “What happened?”

“He got hurt. For a while, it didn’t look like he would make it. He pulled through, thank god. I guess I’m just scared of what our future will look like now.”

“I’m sorry, Mum.”

“Me too.” I place my hand on my stomach, wishing a lot of things were different.

Sophie’s hand covers mine as a tear runs down my cheek. I tighten my grip on her and breathe her in.

“Whatever happens, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, baby.”

“I’m sorry I messed up, but I’m gonna make it up to you, I promise.”

I don’t say anything else, just soak in her warmth as I try to figure out where we all go from here.

26

Lick

The trip back home was as unpleasant as I thought it would be, despite the copious amount of drugs floating around my system. But the hospital was far nicer than any I’ve ever stayed in before.

That didn’t make the bitter pill of regret any easier to swallow, though. As the doctor runs through the tests he wants to subject me to, I zone out, my mind firmly on the woman I want so fucking bad but can’t have.

“Any questions?” I turn to the doctor and shake my head. “Alright. I’ll be back. I know things seem bleak right now, but take my advice, Mr. Kennedy, things could always be worse. A positive attitude is better than any drug I can prescribe to you. If you start acting as if you’ll never walk again, then I can assure you that will become your reality. I’ve seen it time and time again. You have to mentally prepare yourself for what’s to come. Expect it to be torturous, and it will be, far beyond anything you can think of. But you will get results if you can push through it.”

“Can you guarantee me I’ll walk again if I do? That I’ll ride?”

“There is no guarantee in life, Mr. Kennedy. You know that. But I’ll do my best to make sure it’s a possibility. You just have to be willing to put in the work too.”

I nod, wondering if he gives everyone in my position this spiel or if I’m just special. All tests from this morning still show no sensation below the waist. My dick wasn’t even hard when I woke up, which sounds like a fucking stupid thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things, but it’s one more nail in the coffin as far as I’m concerned.

“Actually, there is something. If I get any female visitors, can you send them away?”

“Just the women?” he clarifies.

“Yeah. I’m not in the headspace to deal with them.”

“Okay, I can let the nurses know. On a personal note, though, women can be a great incentive in helping us heal.”

“By taking more onto their shoulders. Tell me, doc, is it always a woman’s burden to make a man’s life easier? When do they get to retire from that shit? Is it when the men take everything they have and then move on to the next woman?”

He snaps his mouth shut, and part of me wonders from the flush of his cheeks if that comment sits a little too close to home for him.

“I’ll let the nurses know,” he says once more before walking away. He pulls the door open and scurries out as my father walks in with a couple of coffees in his hand.