Page 16 of Double Shot

While he snapped the lids onto our drinks and handed Nat some straws, I tapped my phone to the card reader to pay.

“Hey, seeing as you’re both such… keen walkers,” Josh began as he slid our drinks closer, leaning his elbows on the counter, “would you consider taking part in the 5k we’re organising? A bunch of us who work in the park are raising money to plant some new trees.”

“What happened to the old ones?” Nat asked, sucking on his straw.

“Um… nothing, but…” Josh shrugged. “It’s always nice to have more trees, right?”

“Who’s organising it?” I narrowed my eyes.

“Um, I think the park management company suggested it to the groundskeepers and stuff? Then a few of us put it together.”

Nat snorted and muttered to me under his breath, “Fucking fae agenda. Getting the humans to do the hard work for them.” As I raised my eyebrows meaningfully in agreement, slurping on my smoothie, Nat said to Josh in a louder voice, “Babe, we’d love to, but that date doesn’t work for us.”

“I haven’t told you the date yet,” Josh said slowly, brow wrinkling.

“We’ll totally sponsor you, though.” Nat reached for the pencil hanging from a string beside a sheet of bright yellow paper tacked to the side of the stall. “But I refuse to give myself saggy earlobes for those faecats who bullshit others into making fucking tree money for them. The system is so fucked.”

“So corrupt,” I agreed as Nat scribbled on the sheet. “Put me down too, Nat.”

“I… What?” Josh asked, eyes darting between us as he tried to make sense of what Nat had just said. “Saggy… What are faecats?”

“Where’s the 5k happening?” Nat asked, dropping the pencil as he stepped back.

“Um, here. In the park.”

Nat snorted as we shared a knowing glance. “Through the forest, I’m guessing? Make sure you avoid any rings of mushrooms, sweetie.”

“How come?” Josh looked a little freaked out.

“Just trust me, babe.” Nat smiled at him, then linked his arm through mine to start leading me away. “Bye, Josh! See you next week. Okay, bakery then manicures.”

“Then I have to go to work.” I wrinkled my nose. “Ugh.”

“Aww, babe.” Nat wrapped his long, lanky arm around my shoulders and tugged me into his side. “Maybe the hot wrestler couple will come back soon and you can bask in their unrivalled sexual energy for your entire shift.”

“I doubt it,” I mumbled sullenly. “They don’t come very often anymore.”

“You mean they’ve slowed down on the non-stop fucking, or…?”

“No, I mean literally. They hardly ever come to rent a room now. It’s, like, the worst thing that’s happened to me so far this year, Nat. They were just…” I exhaled and rested a hand over my heart, shaking my head. “So, so freaking hot.”

“I know, sweetie,” Nat said sympathetically.

“I didn’t have to go out looking for random hookups to feed while they were visiting often.” I sighed. “They sustained me so well. Which meant I had the time and mental energy to actually focus on men who might want to be with me, not just fuck me. But I guess even that didn’t fucking work, did it? Because here I am. Still hopelessly single. Unlovable. With a fantastic ass that would make the perfect pillow for a beautiful man’s head every single night, and yet it’s wasted. It remains unused as a pillow, Nat. And it’s so pillowy.”

“It’s a fucking travesty,” Nat declared, because he was unwaveringly loyal. “Your cushiony ass is not being utilised to its full potential, babe.”

A tall guy in a business suit looked up from his phone to stare at us as he passed us on the path. He was handsome, which made me perk up a little, but then I realised he was human and deflated again.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t date humans, it was just that… humans tended to go a little wild around concubi after prolonged exposure. Insatiable to the point of self-neglect. They stopped caring about other things. They became obsessed. Infatuated.

Which, don’t get me wrong, I wanted some of that in a partner. I wanted my partner to adore me, but not because they’d essentially been drugged by my pheromones and weren’t naturally able to temper their reaction, like other supernaturals were. To other non-humans, our pheromones heightened sensations and made sex more pleasurable, but they didn’t cloud their judgement like they did with most humans.

And I didn’t want that kind of icky power imbalance. I wanted my person to be obsessed with me because I, Klaus Teufel, was worthy of being obsessed with. Not just because I was an incubus.

And not just because of my pillowy ass either. But it would be great if they were obsessed with that too.

Chapter 6