Page 7 of Cheap Heat

After a few seconds, my friend Reece replied.

Reece (Lewis the Office Manager): Ex?

Then Abed chimed in.

Abed (Bill from the Warehouse): That d-bag fae who got the last Humandatory special edition economic recession add-on at the game store last Christmas?

Finally, Teresa gave her two cents.

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): I’m gonna go with ex too. The messy breakup one from a few years ago. Julie?

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): No wait I’m changing my guess to local weatherman Kip Stormer. Maybe that lampyr moonlights as a wrestler lmao

Suki and Neville didn’t reply, probably because they were at work.

Rafe (Terry the Accountant): Worse.

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): WORSE than messy breakup Julie??? You turned up at game night drunk and crying after she ended things, dude. I don’t want you working there if there’s someone WORSE

I rolled my eyes and hurriedly typed back.

Rafe (Terry the Accountant): No one who has the power to make me cry, don’t worry. It’s my dickhead neighbour. He’s one of the wrestlers.

Abed (Bill from the Warehouse): Daaaaaamn

Reece (Lewis the Office Manager): oh shit

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): WAT

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): The promiscuous hunk????

My lips flattened into a grim line as I typed back.

Rafe (Terry the Accountant): The inconsiderate douchebag, you mean.

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): I mean yea he’s that too I guess but he does have spectacular tiddies

My face burned at the too-fresh memory of it landing directly between Ewen’s stupid big pecs.

Rafe (Terry the Accountant): Can’t say I’ve paid all that much attention to his “tiddies” so I wouldn’t know. I just can’t believe I now have to work with that asshole.

Abed (Bill from the Warehouse): Bro, is he really THAT bad? He’s just kinda loud, right?

Rafe (Terry the Accountant): He IS that bad. He’s an inconsiderate jerk. I told you about the time I woke up after he threw a rager and there was a naked orc passed out on my back deck. And part of my fence had been flattened. He still hasn’t fixed it.

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): Haven’t we all found a naked orc passed out on our back deck???

Abed (Bill from the Warehouse): I haven’t

Reece (Lewis the Office Manager): Me neither.

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): Pussies

Abed (Bill from the Warehouse): What?? Why???

Teresa (Simone the Warehouse Manager): Rafeo, maybe you need to wrestle him to assert dominance. That’s what I’d do

Rafe (Terry the Accountant): Uh, no. You’ve seen him. He’d destroy me.