Page 151 of Cheap Heat

I nodded. “You keep being featured on this true crime podcast, you know that?”

“What? We do?” A grin stretched Beans’ mouth through the hole in the balaclava as he looked excitedly at Frank. “You hear that, Frank?”

“Banger,” Frank corrected, then asked me, “Which podcast?”

“Super Effing Creepy.” I forgot about keeping my hands up when I felt blood tickle my lip and wiped it away. “One of the hosts went on a deep dive into your past.”

Frank must have forgotten about pointing the gun at me too, because he pulled his hand out of his pocket to inspect his fingernails—even though he was still wearing gloves—with a demure shrug. “Well. It’s nice to know people still appreciate criminal ingenuity.”

With a laugh, I shook my head and said, “I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection before. Your sausage-themed names and dick tags. And the weird thing with heads. How the fuck did you end up working at Goliaths?”

“We had to lay low for a while,” Frank told me, sounding pleased. “Take some time to figure out our new gig.”

“What’s your new gig?” I asked with interest.

They stared at me blankly, before Beans said, “Muggings.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.” I glanced around the alley. “But I mean… what’s the theme? You’ve always had a theme.”

“Well.” Frank sounded excited. He glanced at Beans. “We were actually thinking…” He lifted his hands and spread them in an arc through the air as he dramatically finished, “Zippers.”

I tried to keep my face blank. “Zippers?”

“Sneaking into people’s houses and cutting all the zippers out of their clothes.”

Beans cackled. “Truly despicable.”

“And our new tag is going to be a dick with a big zipper on it,” Frank told me brightly, then started reaching back into his pocket. “Do you want to see the sketches? We’ve been workshopping—”

I didn’t want him to remember the gun, so I quickly said, “No, it’s okay. I’d, uh, rather wait to see it in its full glory. You know, at the scene of the crime.”

“He really is a fan,” Frank muttered to Beans with approval.

“I still think he might be with the government,” Beans muttered back.

Seeing my opportunity, I cleared my throat and took a tiny step forward.

“Well, this has been…” I gestured vaguely and didn’t bother finishing that sentence. “Uh, good luck. I’m going to head home now.”

“’Kay,” Frank said brightly, giving me a little wave. “Nice to see you again. Make sure you follow the news to keep track of us. It won’t be long before the notorious Banger and Mash start causing zipper mayhem along the west coast.”

I nodded as I started walking. “You’re heading to California? Nice.”

“Yeah, it should be—Wait.” Frank stiffened and suddenly jammed his hand back into his pocket. “Hold on. We were mugging you.”

I stopped and sighed. “C’mon, guys. Seriously.”

He jerked the gun in his pocket to the side, so I sighed again and reluctantly stepped back.

“I don’t even have anything,” I told them in exasperation.

“What groceries did you buy?” Beans asked.

I bristled. “You’re not taking my groceries.”

“Well we have to take something.” Frank huffed. “This is a mugging.”

Heaving another huge sigh, I reached into my pockets to see if I had anything. Pulling out a half-eaten packet of gum, I said, “I have this.”