Page 54 of Emeric

24

SYLVAN

Sometimes it would be hours when I was stuck in a panic attack. Others, it was a matter of minutes. It all depended on what triggered them and how quickly I could get out of them. I couldn’t always work my way through them fast. Some I had to ride them out until my body gave in to the exhaustion of constantly being on high alert. Those had me crashing hard after.

Time ticked by, minute by minute, until I couldn’t take it anymore and went up to my bed to lie in it. Logically, I knew Oleander would return. He’d never gone back on a promise he’d made to me. If he said he would be here, he would. What if whatever was going on with Emeric was big though? Oleander could be gone all night. It was better not to get my hopes up that he’d return.

I lay on one side for a while, facing the door, my body curled in the fetal position as my heart seemed like it was the loudest sound in the world, pounding away in my chest, every beat reminding me how trapped I could be in my own body. I could get up and move. That wasn’t the issue. It was the fear that would accompany doing more than I was.

Being this tense made my body ache, so I stretched and rolled onto the opposite side, facing the wall. My eyes eventually became heavy as my body finally started to come down from the hell it had been through. Panic attacks were never fun. They hit me on all sides, constantly coming for me until I couldn’t do more than I was now.

I was so out of it, I forgot to bring my phone upstairs with me. When I heard footsteps coming down the hall toward my room, my body went into fight-or-flight mode again. My heart rate picked up. I trembled where I was beneath the sheet as I turned to face the door.

My room was dark, nothing but the light from the hallway spilling in. Only Jordan and his guards had the code to get in here. The place was always locked down. When Oleander left, I had enough sense to set the alarm. He’d have to disarm it when he returned. Since I didn’t hear it going off, either this was him, or someone took down the system and decided to come after me instead of whatever was in the house.

“Syl?” I heard whispered.

“Ollie?”

“It’s me.” He stepped into the room, a dark shadow with the voice of comfort and the scent I’d come to recognize as uniquely his. The tension drained out of me as he crouched next to the bed, his hands reaching for mine. “I’m so sorry I had to leave. I didn’t want to.”

Emeric filled the doorway next. “Can I climb into bed with you? I just want to hold you.”

“Yes,” I nearly begged.

Emeric kicked off his shoes, took off his suit jacket, removed his tie, and unbuttoned his shirt before ridding himself of that as well. He was left in an undershirt and slacks when he got into bed and slid behind me, under the covers, pulling me into his arms. I shuddered. The feel of him there with Oleander in front of me was almost more than I could handle.

“Me too?” Oleander asked.

“Please.”

Emeric slid back on the bed, taking me with him. We had plenty of room, although with me in the middle of them, I didn’t want more space. I wanted the air removed from between us, so there would be no gap. I wanted their bodies flush to mine so there was no way for me to leave. Some might not like that kind of tight proximity, but I craved it. There was no safer place for me than between these men.

I shook in their arms. There was no avoiding it. I had zero control. They held me tighter, pressed gentle kisses to where they could reach. Whispered words of care and affection. The tears were there, just waiting to fall from my eyes, but I refused to let them this time. I wouldn’t ruin this moment with them.

“Thank you,” I told them. Before they could say I didn’t need to do that, I asked, “Are you okay, Em?”

“Yes, it will be fine. Someone hacked into my hotel’s system. Jordan and Lawson are taking care of it.”

“You’re not worried?” I’d be a mess if someone hacked my accounts. Just thinking about it made it difficult to swallow. Having your information accessed was a huge violation.

“I’m not sure what they want. I also don’t really give a shit. As long as the data of my staff and customers is safe, that’s all I care about.”

“You’re a good man.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I do too,” Oleander said.

Emeric lifted his arm that was around my waist and reached for Oleander, who tried to get even closer so Emeric could hold us both.

“I have to be back in the city early in the morning,” Oleander told us. “I’m covering Vail. He has to be at Untouchable.”

“I have to get back to the hotel too.”

“Can you stay the night?” I asked.

“If you’d like us to,” Emeric replied. Neither of them would stay without making sure I was okay with it. Even when they didn’t need to be considerate, because I wanted them here all the time, they were.