Page 65 of Unbound

Tobias

I’ve fallen ill with consumption.

Tucker

Can’t come. Dead of dysentery.

Trevor

Fuck you guys. If I can’t get out of it with a hole in my leg, you sure as hell can’t get out of it either.

Tucker

He’s really gonna milk this whole ‘I got shot thing’ isn’t he?

Aunt DeeDee

IF YOU FIGHT LIKE THIS IN FRONT OF YOUR AUNT I WILL KILL YOU AGAIN.

Walker

I think your caps lock is stuck on.

Tobias

The fuck you say? Don’t act like you didn’t use all caps for YEARS, grampa.

Aunt DeeDee

Thank you, Toby. You still have to come to brunch.

Tobias

Damn it.

Titus

Why is she here again? I thought she was never flying again after TSA took her hairspray last time.

Aunt DeeDee

Apparently she was never flying commercial again. One of her grandsons helped her book a private jet.

Tucker

Of course he did. Probably paid for it himself just to get rid of her for a week.

Titus

A WEEK?

Tobias

We have to deal with her for a week?

Trevor

No. Not doing it.