Page 99 of Unbound

“It’s not supposed to sound good. It’s supposed to keep you from doing something stupid that could get you hurt.” I slide my fingers along her cheek. “I don’t think I need to explain how I’d feel if something happened to you. Especially if it was because of me.”

“Ugh.” Sybil’s head rocks back. “Fine. I won’t junk-kick the next guy who tries to stab you.”

“Thank you.” I kiss her on the forehead. “Now get your ass out of bed. We need to go to work.”

While Sybil goes to the bathroom, I head downstairs to make some coffee. But it’s clear even before I reach the main level, someone else has beat me to it.

Paula stands in the kitchen, hair done, fully dressed, and looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“Good morning.” I’m not quite sure what the fuck to do right now. Yesterday morning, Sybil’s mother wasn’t awake when we left for work, and I sort of assumed it was because her schedule didn’t align with mine.

Obviously, I was wrong.

“It’s a better morning today.” She pulls a coffee cup from my cabinet, filling it. “I couldn’t drag myself out of bed yesterday morning. I think I might be too old to drink the way I did Sunday night.” Turning to me, she holds the cup out. “I believe I remember you take it black?”

“I do.” I take her offering with a nod. “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do.” Paula replaces the carafe and goes back to where her own coffee sits on the counter. “I haven’t had the opportunity to tell you how much I appreciate your invitation to come here.”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” It’s probably something most people would say, but I really mean it. I’ve spent more than enough time in an empty house. Listening to a silence so loud it echoes. Wasting my life because I’m too big of a coward to take a step forward.

Paula gives me a small smile. “Thank you.” Her eyes drop to stare into the coffee cup clutched in her hands. “I’m looking forward to spending more time with Sybil now that I’ve sold my practice.” She wipes at the smudge of lipstick on the rim. “Sybil and I have always been very different. She was so close with her father when she was little. And then he died and all she had was me.” The curve of her lips takes on a regretful slant. “I’m sure you’ve noticed we are quite different people. And I’m afraid I probably left a lot to be desired as her mother.”

Sybil has said something very similar to me. Explained that she and her mother didn’t have a bad relationship, they just weren’t close. I think maybe that’s a situation that can be rectified.

“I heard how upset you were when we called you. The fear you had when you couldn’t get a hold of her.” Paula was terrified. The relief she felt when she heard Sybil’s voice was palpable. Even through a phone line. “You didn’t hesitate to pack up and come here. And I’m pretty sure that wasn’t because you wanted to meet Deidre Bradshaw. You wanted to see your daughter. To make sure she really was okay.” I shake my head. “That’s not a mom who leaves a lot to be desired.”

Paula is quiet for a minute, her eyes glassy. She sucks in a deep breath, blinking a few times before giving me another soft smile. “Thank you.” She abandons her coffee to step toward me, bringing a hand to my face. “You’re a good boy.” Without warning, she embraces me. “I’m so glad Sybil found you.”

Normally, hugs are awkward for me. I’m not sure what to do with my hands, and I’d rather not have someone in my space. But I don’t want Paula to feel weird about this, so I hug her back, leaning down—she’s quite a bit shorter than I am—so I can give her an appropriately placed pat.

It’s not until I’m on her level that I make a discovery that stops my heart in my chest. At first I think it’s my mind playing tricks on me. But when I turn my head and breathe a little deeper, it’s like I’m being dragged back in time.

Because Sybil’s mom wears the same perfume my mom did.

It’s been so long since I’ve smelled it, but the scent is imprinted in my brain. A memory I’ve sheltered deep inside, thinking I’d never know it again.

When Paula brings a hand to smooth down my hair, I have to close my eyes against the burn behind them, swallowing hard to hide the choke of emotion tightening my throat. She’s not my mom, and no one will ever take her place. But she’s a mom—one who smells right and feels right—and for just a minute, that’s good enough.

When Paula pulls back, I manage to keep it together, clearing my throat as I retrieve the coffee she made me from the counter. “I should probably go get ready for work.” I lift the cup between us. “Thanks for this.”

Paula nods. “Anytime.”

I get upstairs just as Sybil is coming down. She snags my hand, leaning up to press a kiss to my lips before skipping her way down the steps. The sound of her and her mother’s voices carry up to me as I pull on my clothes with Biscuit watching me from her spot on my bed, tail flicking lazily.

By the time I’m headed back down, I’ve recovered from the unexpected moment Paula and I had in the kitchen, and ready for the day.

At least I thought I was.

An hour into the morning, as I’m going through resumes with Trevor, I get a call from Heidi. I step out of his office to answer, pacing down the hall so I’m out of Ruth’s earshot.

“I’m going to assume this isn’t a friendly check-in.”

“I mean, two things can be true.” Heidi smacks her lips. “But no, my main reason for calling isn’t to ask how your lovely lady is and when you’re going to be creating beautiful bouncing babies.”

Fuck.

I stop, feet incapable of moving because my brain is consumed by the idea of Sybil having my babies. Not a single time in my life have I ever thought I would have the chance to be a dad. If I couldn’t emotionally connect with myself, how in the hell could I do it with a woman, let alone a kid?