Page 77 of The Sixth Spring

“I can’t stay here, I need to go back to deeper waters,” Itori lifted his head to meet Will’s eyes. It looked like even that much cost him. “I just came here to see if you would come.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I tried–they’ve been guarding it.”

“I know,” Itori said. His hand came up and touched Will’s hair. “It is not your fault.”

“I should’ve done more.”

“No, sweet Willowtree. But let’s go to deeper waters. Come with me?”

Will was already bobbing his head. “Yes, of course. Wherever,” Will said.

Itori began leading him away from the shore. The water was cold and dark, but Itori had his hand.

Will had a sudden memory of a dream. It was one where Itori had taken him under the water to one of the connected lakes. They’d come out behind the grocery store, and–

“You knew,” Will said as Itori pulled him along, kicking his legs when the water grew too deep. “You knew about the sugar.”

Itori turned back to look at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“You were with me when we–when I put it in the engines.”

“Of course I was,” Itori’s eyes were roving over his face.

“I thought that was a dream,” Will said. “We went to the other lake and—I don’t remember. I woke up with the bags of sugar in my trailer. I don’t remember doing it.”

Itori drew him in closer. “You do not remember?”

“No. I–and before? Before the sugar, did we–?” That dream was even hazier. “We were at the metal trees. The excavators. I was pulling out wires.”

“You said if we pulled out fuses, they would stop,” Itori said.

“Oh.”

And before that…

“I stole keys from the trailer,” he said. “Twice.”

One set he’d tossed into the lake. The second set he’d kept to get into the fuse boxes. They’d ended up in a drawer at his trailer.

“I didn’t remember any of that,” he said in awe. “I-I only remembered being with you, and then… then I’d wake up in my trailer.”

Itori touched his face, thumb rubbing over his cheek. “You did not remember?” He paused. “How…?” Then his eyes widened. “The exchange. You–you gave your energy, your memories. You said that was not a human practice!”

Will vaguely recalled Itori explaining that exchanges could be more than just energy.

“It’s not!” Will said, too loud. He turned his face away from Itori, trying to put it all together.

“I am sorry,” Itori said gently. “I thought… I did not know you were giving me those memories. I can give them back.”

Will blew out a loud breath, scrubbing a hand over his face. “No, it’s okay. It’s… I know what happened, or at least enough of it. I just didn’t know it was all me, not until the sugar.”

The night around them was warm, but the water was cool. He shivered, and Itori even pulled him in tighter against his body heat.

“I am sorry,” Itori said.

“It’s not your fault. You told me what the exchanges could do. I just didn’t think they were affecting me. That I could lose something in them.”

Not that knowing would’ve changed anything. Even if he knew it had been costing him, Will would’ve kept doing it, both to help Itori and because he needed what Itori gave him in return.