Page 30 of Darkened Promises

Nate places the tabby cat on the bed next to Rosy. He’s had Moshi living in his room since we found him, which I’m glad for. I’ve never had pets before, let alone a cat. Still, I’ve snuck in here when Nate’s been out, thinking that spending time with the tabby will make me feel closer to Rosy somehow.

It hasn’t. But sitting and talking to him, admitting some of my lost thoughts and fears out loud has been more cathartic than I thought it would be.

Rosy’s fingers twitch as Moshi nudges them. He purrs loudly, and we all hold our breath, watching her. Her eyes blink slowly, brow furrowing as she looks at Noah and me. As our eyes meet, my chest expands with so much emotion. When she looks down at the tray, the air leaves me in a heavy exhale.

“Okay.” Once the tray is balanced across her knees, I go to leave the room. Her voice has me pausing. “Thank you, Bry.”

Hearing her speak has me selfishly responding, “Can I sit with you?”

I feel useless in her presence, but I don’t want to leave her. I’m too worried about what will happen if we’re not here.

“I’m not great company…” She trails off, keeping her head bowed and staring hard at the tray.

Before I can stop myself, my fingers slip under her chin, and I tilt her face up. “Even when everything feels dark and unbearable, I’m here with you. I don’t need great or perfect; I just need you.”

Tears pool in her eyes, and her jaw clenches tightly in my fingers. “I don’t know how to do this.” She sniffs loudly.

“Then we figure it out together,” I promise. “Will you try to eat for me?” Brushing my fingers against her jaw, I try to avoid looking and thinking about the marks tarnishing her skin.

We sit together in silence, and the sound of her quietly eating is a comfort. It reminds me that she’s here. She’s alive. She’s safe.

SEVENTEEN

NATE

I’m fucking choking under the weight of my fear, and I spent too many years of my childhood feeling it.

Not from anything physical.

Fear of not being enough, of disappointing my mother, of losing her love, of losing something else she deemed me not worthy enough.

Now it’s back, and fuck if it isn’t stronger than I’ve ever felt before.

But it’s different. Before, I couldn’t wait to escape it, and when I was old enough, I did just that. With Rosy, it’s making me want to cling on fucking tighter and never let go.

I don’t know how to not break her further with my overpowering need to protect her.

Her needing privacy in the bathroom had me ready to rip the door off, terrified to have it blocking my view of her. Even now, with Bry sitting on the bed with her, I can’t bring myself to leave my position against the wall and give them space. She’s not asked me to leave, so until she does, I’m not going anywhere.

Even if she does ask me to leave, I’m not sure I’m able to.

Work’s going to be a challenge.

The team I’ve got working for me is efficient. I could take time off going out on jobs and run the admin shit here at home. I’ll send out enquiries to get another electrician in to replace me. Fuck, we’ve been busy enough that I was already thinking about doing it anyway. We get most of the business through recommendations, and more recently, I’ve had to turn down work.

Most enquiries we get are for urgent jobs, rather than booking months in advance, so it just makes sense.

It means I can stay with my girl.

Bry picks up the tray once Rosy’s finished with it. He hovers, and it’s awkward watching him.

Except I fucking get it.

It’s hard to know what to say after everything.

Rosy doesn’t say anything either, and his shoulders drop slightly as he leaves.

When my gaze flicks back to her, she’s watching me, eyes bright with tears. My arms drop to my sides as I step towards her. By the time I reach her, her lip’s quivering, and her face is pinched with the effort to hold everything in.