Page 14 of Eff Marry Kill

"I haven't tried to hide it, Nova. What I have tried to do is keep my hands to myself in public, the way you deserve. I've tried like hell to respect your boundaries. I've tried not to make you a public spectacle or embarrass you. And I've tried so fucking hard to behave myself when, every minute of the day, all I've wanted is to bend you over every flat surface."

I gape at him, stunned.

"I'm done behaving, Starlight," he growls, his gaze locked on my lips. "I'm done letting you push me away and pretend you don't want me, too. I'm done trying to do shit the right way when it's clearly not fucking working. I wish I had shouted the truth from the rooftops the day we met. Maybe then you would have given me a chance a long goddamn time ago."

I stare at him, trying to absorb and process. "My brother knows?"

"Ask him if you don't believe me," Hux rasps. "He's always known how I feel about you. He said he didn't want to get involved, especially since he didn't think you felt the same way about me. But he knew, Nova. Everyone who mattered knew." His thumb brushes my bottom lip again. "Now, everyone knows, period."

"I…" I swallow hard. "I feel so stupid."

"And I feel like an idiot. Had I known why you were so set against giving me a chance, I would have solved it a year and a half ago. But even when I tried to drag it out of you, you wouldn't tell me."

"I didn't want to give you any ammunition," I mutter dully, feeling so fucking small. God, all this time… "I figured if you knew why I kept turning you down, you'd realize how I really felt about you, and that would make things ten times worse."

So long as he didn't know how much I was into him, I could keep pretending that all the teasing didn't matter. But if he knew? If he kept making a game of it after figuring out the truth? It would have been proof that I was just something to toy with, and that would have broken a part of me I'm not sure knows how to be broken.

"Jesus, Starlight." He presses his forehead to mine. "I can't undo the past. Neither of us can. I'm just asking for a chance, baby girl. Just give me one chance to show you that you aren't a fucking game. Please."

He's not asking. He's pleading, begging like it matters more to him than anything else. Maybe that's what finally gets through to me, not what he's saying, but the way he says it, like maybe he's just as vulnerable and just as much at risk of being broken as I am.

"I played Fuck, Marry, Kill a few weeks ago," I blurt.

His eyes narrow in confusion.

"My options were you, Napoleon, and The Blob. I chose to marry you."

"What the fuck is The Blob?"

"A goo monster."

"So…your choices were me, Napoleon, and a goddamn goo monster?" One brow quirks. "That's not a ringing endorsement, Starlight."

"It is," I whisper, licking my lips. "Because I wanted it to be you. But I also didn't want to admit that I wanted it to be you. I've spent a long time trying to convince myself that I shouldn't want you. So when I got to play the game and could choose you free and clear, it felt good, Hux." My throat works. "It felt so damn good to be able to admit out loud, just once, that I'd choose you."

I think Ava knew it when she gave me the choices she did. It wasn't an impossible choice—a psycho, a monster, and the man I swore I hated. It was the one that allowed me to make the one choice I'd wanted to make all along. For once, I got to confess that I'd choose Hux, that I didn't hate him at all…and I got to do it without guilt. I needed that.

"Jesus," he growls, his hand sinking into my hair. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"No!" I cry.

His eyes flash with unholy fire, a growl rumbling from his lips. "Don't tell me no now, Starlight. I'm dying here."

"I don't mean no. I mean, not here," I whisper. "There might be photographers, and I'm not wearing underwear, remember?"

The way he looks at me…God, I love that starved, wild look on his face. It says more than any words ever could.

"Inside," he practically snarls, marching me toward the door. "Right fucking now."

Chapter Six

Huxley

The sound of the door clicking closed behind me snaps what little restraint I have left with this woman, unleashing every ounce of pent-up need coursing through my veins.

I press her back against the door, drowning in her kiss. My hands run across her perfect body, trying to sear the feel of her into my core memories. I never want to forget the way she moans into my mouth or melts against me. I never want to forget how she clings to me or trembles and shakes for me.

I never want to forget a single fucking second of her surrender.