Page 67 of Almost Not Quite Engaged

“What the fuck did you do to my wall?” I whip around and my sister is standing there with Anna.

“Seriously, Kat, what’s happening here?” Anna walks over to me and gives me a hug. “Are you okay? Your tan looks great but mentally?”

“A new plan.”

“As opposed to the unhinged plan of getting engaged to a person, we all thought you kind of hated with no real benefit for yourself?” Anna asks.

“There’s benefit. And this…” I slap the wall, getting paint on my hands then rubbing it on my shirt to groans from those watching. “...is proof of my benefit.”

“Seriously, when the fuck are you going to stop losing your mind?” my sister quips. Courtney pops her hip and stares at me. Someone walks up the stairs and peeks over Court’s shoulder.

“Shit. You slept with him, didn’t you?”

I shrug and say, “That’s beside the point.”

Ginny grins and takes a picture of my list. “I think that’s very much the point.”

I push past them and line up four chairs in front of the door, on the front porch facing the wall. I grab my snacks.

“I recommend you all get Diet Cokes, a straw with a splash of rum in order to keep up with me.”

I sit down and start snacking from my bowl and staring at my plan.

“Is this the psychotic break we’ve been waiting for?” Ginny says as she sits down.

Shep whistles the Talking Heads, Burning Down the House from underneath the RV.

Anna appears on the porch and stands in front of me, “Are these places you’re going to bomb?”

“I want to go there.”

“We’ve been to some of them,” Courtney says.

“Not on my own.”

“Oh, well, that’s differe---” Anna stops talking and jerks her head towards the RV. She cocks her ear and listens.

“Anna you look like you’re the one having a psychotic break.”

She puts her hands on her hips and steps down from the porch. “Shepard Anthony Valenti! What the hell are you doing here?”

Shep slides quickly out from under the RV.

“Anna?” He sits up.

Courtney looks between the two of them as they stare at each other smiling.

Anna points at him. “This is my neighbor.”

I ask, “The good cook?”

He salutes Ginny and me. “Yes, ma’am that’s me.”

Courtney says, “He’s Skipper’s mechanic. From South Carolina.”

Shep and Anna don’t say a word but stare at each other a bit.

There’s an awkward pause and I break the tension. “I don’t care. Back to my list.”