Page 47 of Almost Not Quite Engaged

“Nan, we had no idea of the connection with the Goodknows or of course we would have told you and your husband first. Katy didn’t-”

“Did you say Katy?”

“I did, hope it’s ok if I have a name for her that’s all mine.” I am dying because I know she is.

“Katydid and I…” I bend over trying not to lose it as he spins this insane conversation. The woman is both enthralled and pissed. “...didn’t intend to tell anyone. Not even our friends or her sister and brother. My mother saw the ring while we were here, she ambushed your daughter right when we arrived before she could hide it. They never met until this morning.”

She sputters. Fucking love it when Nan is speechless. “Uh. Well. I see. Zane, yes, dear. This is strange. It’s all so shocking, but Shorty said you have a wonderful family.”

“They care for your daughter already.” He touches my wrist briefly, then steps back and takes a bow. I fake applaud him.

Then he leans into the phone for the kill. “I look forward to meeting you as the man who loves your daughter.”

I bite the inside of my lip to keep from laughing. He holds his hand over his mouth and arches backward. Then he rushes out onto the patio and I’m left with my mom as I hear him guffaw over the sound of the surf.

“That’s lovely to hear. Take me off speaker, Kaiser.” I do. “I don’t like you keeping things from me but I will say this is wonderful news. Are you going to have an actual wedding?”

And suddenly all the pieces of this plan fall into place. She and Court may have made up from her becoming “Mother of Bridezilla”, but that’s exactly who I need to hide for the next year. “Yes. An actual wedding. As large as you want. There are a couple of non-negotiables on our part in regards to the entire affair but Mom, I’m not Courtney. I will pick the dress, but everything else, why not? Go fucking nuts, Mom.”

A text pops up from my dad.

DAD: Yo. You have no idea what you’ve done. Hoo-Boi! Good luck, Katydid. Bryce said he’s a hell of a guy. I love you. Now go have fun in Hawaii. But I will need to hear how you went from hating this guy to engaged. I remember what you said at the party when we hid his coat outside and you put honey in his boots.

KAT: Thin line between love and hate, Dad. Love you

My mom is already talking strategy. “Mom. I’ll get you Mrs. Jackson’s number and you two can take it from there.”

“No need. Curtie introduced us.” Of course she did.

I’m staring at Zane’s ass in the moonlight. If we weren’t fake. If we weren’t so annoyed by each other, I might find him sexy as fuck.

He’s texting with his family, I assume. Then he steps out onto the grass that leads to the cart path and I hear him say, “Mrs. Taylor can’t wait to…”

Lies flow like the whiskey we’re both downing. I thought he’d be seething, but he’s jumped in with both feet.

“It was wild to see the Goodknows. I’m sorry you found out this way, Mom.”

“Okay. I have heard of Birdie and Jack. I look forward to speaking tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow’s the wedding. We can talk when I get home Sunday. Have Dad check his phone for a ring picture. I have to go.”

“Well, I guess it’s time for some well-earned bubbles, my unconventional girl. Congratulations. I love you.”

“Love you too.” I hang up before she calls me wacky.

As I watch him watch me, despite my best cynical efforts, I feel a conscious reallocation and begin to like him. His smile makes a mockery of my self-control.

“Do we need to talk about this?”

I smirk at the man. “Back your ego down. Do you think I actually want to be engaged to you? That this was some elaborate plot to keep your dumbass?”

“I just thought I’d put it out there.”

“Well, it’s out there. Treat me like normal and not like someone who wants something from you.” His face actually relaxes. I’m not sure he doesn’t have a world populated with people who constantly want or need something from him. It might be why he clings to Colin, the man needs nothing from him except friendship.

We head to the patio together with more drinks. We sit across from each other staring. His face is open and waiting to hear what I have to say. His smug is tucked away and the Zane I’ve learned exists, that I like, the Zane from the hike appears. I find the resolve to look away and continue the conversation.

I answer him as earnestly as I can. “I don’t want anything from you but time for myself to figure shit out without expectations.”