Page 45 of Almost Not Quite Engaged
He says, “You could have asked about the guest list.”
My voice starts low and rises to a true harpy pitch. “Come on. Really? Between packing my bathmat, private planes and dirt water, you’re right it should have come up. I should have asked for a detailed list to make sure people who were in the hospital when I was born couldn’t be traced to your brother’s destination third wedding.”
“I’m screwed.” Zane paces on the small grass patch off our patio. He’s muttering to himself. Uncomplicated and rando. Both of us wish I was just some club ‘pick me’ girl right about now.
I’m the one who’s going to look worse. Why didn’t I tell my parents I was engaged again? Birdie will think I’m embarrassed, my mother will think I’m insane and Shorty will throw us a party.
Zane yells from the dark patio. “How much time do you think you have?”
The Beastie Boys’ “So What’cha Want” blares from my phone and I hold it up.
“Not much.”
He yells, “Don’t answer. You’re at a party.”
Chapter 21
Whatcha Want
ZANE
Maui
I stomp into the room and then away from her again.
“She’ll keep calling.”
“You can’t answer it. My life is over if you answer that phone.”
“My life is over if I don’t. Dick. At least you’re getting cash out of the deal,” she yells.
I blow out a big breath and stand in the doorway to the patio. “What the fuck do we do?”
If this falls apart, if I’m a liar, that’s game, set, match. Not only will I not be able to save my TV show. I’ll lose everything. Liesel and Bill lose everything. My family, the money, my home and the respect of the industry. No one will touch me again with any ideas I have going forward. I’ll be sleeping on one of Ginny and Colin’s couches and have to make nice with the homeless Harpy because she’ll be on the other one.
She flies at me with her hair bouncing all around. “Now you’re pissing me off. All I did was play along. Am I a big fat liar, yes? Am I about to break my mother’s heart for the second time in a month? Also yes.” Then she wanders around the room like she’s delivering a soliloquy.
“You’re not the only one with shit at stake here. Screwup Kat, who has fucking nothing and can maintain nothing. Can’t even keep an outfit clean. Hold down a job or a relationship. The only thing I have is my liquidated 401k.”
“That’s a ton of penalties. You shouldn’t have done that.”
She turns sharply and her wild skirt flares behind her like a superhero. “I didn’t! He did.”
“My god, this guy gets worse and worse. Have you met you? He didn’t deserve any part of you.” Her face goes red, and I try to calm myself. And her fucking phone goes off again.
She sits back down, the ball skirt surrounding her like a cloud. “Poor dumb, useless Kat.” Her phone rings again and she sends it to voicemail. Gameboy fucking stole from her too. Jesus. She’s intelligent, witty, gorgeous, what the hell is his problem?
I kneel down and hand her a shot.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
She bites her bottom lip. “No one does. They think he paid me back money he owed me. But really, he paid me back what he stole. I had no idea until I was fired.”
“Let’s go at one problem at a time. What the hell do we do right now? Then I’ll figure out a way to get his Donkey Kong ass thrown in fucking jail for theft.”
She looks up at me as I stand and there’s a look of relief in her eyes. It makes me want to take care of her.
She flings her legs over the side of the chair. Her phone blaring again on her lap. She sends it to voice mail. I walk away pulling at my hair and throw my jacket onto the side table. I loosen my tie and whip it off. She’s muttering at the end of our living room while staring out at the dark ocean. I grab a bottle of Jack and drink directly from it. I walk past her, she takes a swig then I sit out on our patio with the sliding doors still open. Her voice is cutting in and out as she walks around the villa.
