Page 135 of Almost Not Quite Engaged

“Like what?”

She turns around on the step and there’s fire in her eyes like I haven’t seen in two weeks. “Like an even worse version than I used to be.” Her voice drops. “I’m slipping back into this performative bullshit and it’s all compounded and worse. I don’t even have my friends or sister to bitch to because they’re busy living their own lives and I’m trapped in Country Club hell. And it’s all revolving around an engagement that doesn’t even fucking exist. I can’t.”

“You don’t want to be engaged to me?”

“No. Not if I want to actually be with you. This isn’t you!” She screams and stomps up the stairs.

I wait a second at the bottom. I can hear her cry as she enters the townhouse. I have no desire to hold her. I’m so fucking pissed. I ground myself and gear up for what will certainly not be a fun evening.

I slowly ascend the stairs then toss my keys into the little bowl she bought with the flowers on it. She put something here for me but it looks like her. It’s in my space, and I want it to stay.

I walk around the corner to the kitchen and she has the peanut butter out and she’s eating it with a giant wooden spoon. Her mouth is full, the oil dripping from her lips.

“This will be gone in a moment. Don’t worry.” It drips onto her chest and slides down under the fabric. She doesn’t stop shoving it into her mouth.

“You are insane.”

“Better than hollow.” I understand what she’s saying but it comes out garbled because she has a mouthful of peanut butter. She grabs the milk and drinks it right from the carton. And now everything is covered in peanut butter. I grab the paper towels and wet one down and put it on the counter. She grabs it and wipes down her chest and now the dress has a giant wet spot.

She swallows and tosses the spoon in the sink and the rest of the jar into the trash. Her weird point made. She whips off her dress as she exits the room and even though I want to scream at her I can’t help but look.

Damn.

Chapter 71

Aunt Lolly’s Hardware

KAT

Boston

He follows me into the bedroom as I dress quickly in my jeans and his Wilco shirt. I look down and take it off and throw it on the chair in the corner. I put on my own t-shirt and toss my belongings into a duffle.

“Are you with me because it appeases them? That I’m another safe bet that makes it okay for them to like me but now that they like me too much, you have to run. Is that what this is?” he asks.

“You’re delulu right now. Are you with me for the money? Because unless we have any foundation to build some kind of trust, I guess we’ll never know.” I disappear into the bathroom and return with his toothbrush. I hold it in the air and deposit it into my duffle.

“I don’t have one.”

He doesn’t even react except to say, “So, this is done?”

“This version of it has to be done!” I jump up and down.

He looks at me. “This version?”

“Does Aunt Lolly want the ring back?” I say it with steel in my voice.

“Kat. What are you talking about?”

“I have to go.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have to go,” I say slowly.

“Cool. Then please take your grilled chicken salad eating, floral pattern, pearl clutching, dead-eyed stare with you too.”

“What are you talking about?”