Page 118 of Almost Not Quite Engaged

“Thought we agreed we’re out of that,” he says as he sits up and I kiss him scrambling into his lap.

“Get up. Get up,” I say punctuating each sentence with a peck on the lips. I jump up and he groans.

I’m buzzing with excitement. “When we’re done, we can crash out on the plane to Greece.”

He moans a sleepy, “Yes.”

“Get up!” I jump on the bed and he almost bounces off of it. He turns over and says, “Harpy, we have like an hour.”

“You’re the one who got me the Sphinx for my birthday. I’m not missing a fucking second. Get up, Asshole. We can sit in the parking lot of the Pyramids and wait there.”

He grumbles but gets up. We didn’t unpack because we only have this morning then we fly off to Athens to shoot his next segment, and I get to photograph the Aegean.

We have to be there long before dawn. He got granted a special photography permit through the Ministry of Tourism and Antiquities or the Supreme Council of Antiquities in Egypt.

I’m driving along the Nile overwhelmed that it exists. The Nile to a 5th grader is as real as Narnia. “I thought seeing more of the world would leave me jaded and wise, but I’ve never been more naïve.”

“Agree.”

I’m putting Narnia and Panem on Courtney’s wall when I see it again, who knows, maybe they exist.

There are strict guidelines and time constraints for photographing in this area of the world. It’s dissonantly silent as we roll up to the site.

My guide, Seth, a student of antiquities, stays with me. His tight dark curls rustle in the breeze. I circle the area in the inky night as he stares at me. “You study the Pyramids and tombs and stuff? Did you always want to study really old things?” He laughs.

“Partly. Most of my work is the study of sand, soil, and pebbles.”

“Not the big grand flashy things that live here?”

His voice is steady like he’s one of those relax-apps narrators. “The small and large both matter. Enough small pieces created a pyramid. All small matters build every day to create the large. Both must be paid attention to. Never lose sight of the soil, it’s the base for everything.” I nod at Seth choosing not to read into all that right now.

Zane smiles. “Let’s just unpack that later, shall we?” I laugh. “I’ve got to go. Have fun.”

“Thank you. For all of this.” Zane kisses me and takes off with his guide for the pyramids. He instinctively knew I needed this to be just me and my lens.

I walk into the unnatural shadows cast by the service lights. I feel insignificant and significant at the same time in the presence of these large-scale sculptures surrounding me. Unlike the Taj Mahal, the Sphinx has already moved me. It wasn’t created for one person but all. I’m an infinitesimal part of the narrative of Giza, by standing here.

I tear up the way I do when I sit in the audience of a play just as the lights come down and the second before the curtain goes up. In that split second the excitement of not knowing what will happen always overwhelms me.

Standing here as the shadows recede and light gives form and shape to the Sphinx, I cry reverently. My mind swirling with thousands of moments colliding to create me. Tiny things coming together and how will I cement it all? Not sure yet. Zane brought me to this place, but the realization is all mine.

With the last gasp of the night I open my shutter wide to capture the stars. I leave it there for about five or six minutes on the tripod as still as possible pointing directly up. I want the stars to look swirling like my head is spinning.

The sun rises, and it’s more magnificent and substantial than I’ve been able to imagine. As has become tradition, I hold up my left hand and take my first picture of the series. Our ring with an exotic background. It looks like a candle about to burn out its wick because it’s still so dusky out and the flash hits it just right.

Grabbing pictures from different angles and shutter speeds, I work furiously over the next forty-five minutes. I scramble up and down scaffolding to see all of the face. Seth pulls me in different directions pointing out erosion patterns or angles that can include the pyramids. I’m sweaty and exhausted when I start to wind down. I wipe my forehead underneath his backward hat. I’m grimy, but I get to jump in the Aegean later. A billion people have photographed in this spot, but today I get to tell its story through my own eyes.

I turn on my phone and shove the ring into my bag. Seth and I take selfies, grinning like fools. He offers to take my picture. I take my place at the base. I look up and let in the awe for just a moment. Fuck I’m happy.

My phone rings while I pose under its immense face. “I’m a fucking genius and you?”

“Jack had a heart attack.”

The voice knocks the wind out of me. I drop to my knees then on to my ass. Seth continues to take pictures of me, believing I’m posing. I wave him off, and he hands me my camera.

“Kat? Are you there?”

I inhale as much as possible and eke out an answer. “Zane, is he okay?”