Page 97 of Keep Vegas

“Finally! Ya gonna talk about what’s making you so flipping happy these days.”

“Good solid fucking, Lill. That’s the key to life.”

“Ain’t it the truth.”

Robbie’s wife, Claire, has been investing for me, and she’s doing quite well. Thank God. It’s not jet money, but it will buy a dinner or two.

TONY: Hey. How’s my money doing?

CLAIRE: Why? What did you hear? You owe me more time.

TONY: I might need it sooner than later and just want to let you know in case you have to supplement.

CLAIRE: Don’t you owe me a couple of million anyway?

TONY: That’s not confirmed, and it was your husband I made a bet with, you little minx. And the bet doesn’t officially end until my birthday, despite having lost it, I don’t have to pay shit until then. We still have like seven weeks. Can you set up a new account in your name and give me access? And I’ll need a debit card. Daddy cut me off.

CLAIRE: Classic. I’ll send over the statements.

TONY: Can you send them to the old Yahoo address?

CLAIRE: Yahoo? Ok, Boomer.

TONY: Fine. Send them to the AOL one.

CLAIRE: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

TONY: Trying to be on the DL with it all.

CLAIRE: Fine. Whatever. Did you need me to drop by Blockbuster and pick up some DVDs to go with your Yahoo address?

TONY: Tell your wife to fuck off

ROBBIE: Sure, right after we get done listening to Clinton tell us he did not have sexual relations with that woman.

CLAIRE: Dude, come over; we’re burning CDs off Napster.

TONY: Fuck you both.

ROBBIE: Just popping a Zima and chillin’ in da crib.

My phone pings with a different text chain. It was only a matter of time until my parents brought Dax into this mess.

DAX: What the fuck did you do?

TONY: There are now sides. Choose wisely.

DAX: Always, brother. But Mother’s Day is not going to be fun.

TONY: Can you send her to Bora Bora from us? Just sign my name. I’m broke.

DAX: So I heard.

TONY: That man does not sit on a secret. And I’m keeping the girl, my company, and the money. I do like the money, but if there’s a choice to be made it was made long ago.

DAX: Mak.

TONY: Yes. I’ll choose her over the money, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. Although, I highly recommend shopping at Target.