Page 75 of Keep Vegas

I bite my top lip and blow out a large breath. “How far back do you want it?”

“To the first lie.”

I need air, so we’re walking and talking about nothing and everything. I’m not sure I know how to unravel a lifetime of fuck-ups and lies. I’ll try his method.

I breathe in and out, and I let it flow. “Hi. I’m Makenzie Suzanne Preston. I’m an only child, raised in an up-on-blocks double-wide trailer in Reno that used to be kind of nice until it wasn’t. I have parents who love me even if I’ve doubted it from time to time. My fault, not theirs. My parents have some issues, but who doesn’t? My mom ate her feelings for a long time. I’m ashamed there was a moment in middle school when I was embarrassed by her, but what goes around comes around. She had her turn to be embarrassed by me. My father held in all the stress of raising me and caring for her. Hence, his heart attack that interrupted our French tryst. I escaped from them as often as possible so their life wouldn’t rub off on me. I started going out and getting in trouble when I was thirteen. My first arrest at fourteen was for blowing up mailboxes.”

He scoffs and laughs. “SAME! See, we really did grow up exactly the same.” I laugh, and his eyes crinkle up in a giant smile that colors my dusty, drab world.

“I lost my virginity at fifteen and kept a steady rotation of people to help me forget my parents were poor, depressed, overwhelmed, and overweight. I didn’t notice because I was too busy not graduating and making sure everyone who came close to me got stung with either my attitude or a cruel tone. And I made sure to not go to school. I skated by for years on Ds and an occasional C, bribing people to write papers. In the end, my attendance my senior year caught up to me. I went out more. I partied harder. I studied even less. Because what was the point, I was only going to end up poor, unhappy, and stuck. When the factory closed while I was in France, they decided to move us to Vegas so they could start working in the casinos. Once my father recovered, he got a pretty good job, and they had great health care, but that’s when their depression amped up or at least got diagnosed. They’re good with each other and me, but they don’t love crowds. They coped in their way. My mother ate more, and my father collected things and filled our new, small condo with crap. They’d take memorabilia from anyone who offered it. I didn’t graduate from high school and was the town slut, party girl, and fuck-up.”

Tony winces. I get it. I’m not ashamed of those words anymore, they’re just labels someone else gave me.

He says, “Be kinder to yourself.” And the man knocks the wind out of me. I grin through instant tears, but I decide to blink them away. Damn, I’m in love with him.

I hold up a finger and finish. “But once in Vegas I took it to a whole new level. No one ever expected me to see twenty-two without being pregnant, in jail, or a raving lunatic. I worked off the Strip in a bar that would let me work drunk until I looked around one day and decided we all needed a different life. That’s who I am on paper. But it’s not who I am. Nice to meet you, Tony.”

He sits down on the edge of a bench. He says nothing, and it’s killing me. I’ve never laid it all out like that before. This is so painful. It’s like everything in the world has stopped breathing while I wait.

“And who are you really?” he asks, keeping his distance.

“I’m a college student.”

“What the fuck?”

I grin and continue. “Yeah. One who’s about to graduate Magna Cum Laude. I’m a senior recreational facilitator, a girl who wanted to study to help her parents and herself. We all understand, now, that we do not process things well. I’m the girl who sold all their collections that were cluttering our lives and house so they could buy their dream home here in Twisty Acres.”

“Seriously? You really are Chelle and Julia’s friend. And you live with your parents?”

I nod. “My parents were never the problem. I was. I was stupid and thought I was destined to live their life.”

He scoffs. “That’s familiar.”

“And when I realized I didn’t have to, it was almost too late for me. Almost. My parents denied good things except for each other for a long time, a habit I picked up.”

We stand and walk side by side but not quite together. We’re out of sync, but I guess that happens sometimes in the getting-to-know-you phase.

“I hope someday I have a partnership like theirs, and living their life isn’t a terrible idea, but I realized I should probably get one of my own. I stay in their back room and have a mountain of student loans and debt. I give them what I can for food and towards the mortgage. I own a piece-of-shit car. I’m happy except I lost the one thing I can’t quite get over giving away. But I’m not a fuck-up or a slut anymore.”

“That’s a shame.” His lip curls up to the right. Oh, thank God for that lip curl. My body zings with love for this man.

I shrug. “Ok, maybe the slut thing is true, but these days only for you.”

“Best answer. But the lies. Unwind them now. I get the why, but I need to know they’re done.”

He puts his hands on my shoulders and his forehead to mine. He keeps talking. “I know this is hard. But I’ve had too many liars, cheats, and wannabes in my life. You were the only authentic thing, and now, I need to know everything, or I have to walk away. I need to know at least we were true, even if your glamorous home life wasn’t. I gots to know the deets.”

I laugh at him and nod. Then I walk ahead so I can get this next part out. “I scammed a church congregation into paying for my trip to Paris. I knew a diploma wasn’t going to happen. I felt that getting stoned, drunk, fucking around, stealing cars, and hanging out was much more important than pulling up my English lit grade.”

He puts a hand on my cheek. “Oh, wild little witch, you do realize that prep school isn’t all that different. We just studied., or our fathers bought our grades.” I shove him a bit and he smiles.

“Well, I forgot to do that part.”

“Study?”

“No, get a wealthy daddy.” His eyebrows twitch, then he licks his lips. “Different kind of daddy, but we can revisit.” He waggles them again, and I laugh.

We stroll forward and I continue, “The more my grades tanked, the more I didn’t think I was smart enough to actually learn.”