Page 4 of Keep Vegas

mak

Ican’t get enough of him. We fooled around and both got off, but we didn’t have sex. I like him and I don’t like a lot of people. Usually, I’m the chick who strips first and asks questions later, but the other night, I wanted to wait. I want to see him again, and maybe, I don’t know, a date or something. It’s stupid to think that, but I do.

I like France. I can be anyone I want to be as long as it’s not my regular life. Dancing with Tony was so much fun, but I haven’t seen him since. I blew off class this morning to walk along the Seine. I’m starting to know the city after walking around for several days. It’s still cold and blustery, so I pull my oversized hand-me-down coat a little tighter. The smell of my mom comforts me as well. I do love my parents, I’m just terrified to become them. My mom has some dumbass health issues, but hopefully is listening to the doctor and cutting back on butter and crappy food.

Speaking of butter and fat, I shake off my home life that’s 6000 miles away as I see my favorite little creperie. They have a huge savory crepe for only a couple of euros, and I can snack on it all morning.

The winter sun is crisper than in Reno. I always feel like there’s a film over everything there. Watching the sun playing on the water, it’s as if I can see each ripple as clearly as a ridge in my fingerprint. I watch the shadows sharpen, then fade in the river.

My parents are moving to Henderson while I’m here. They said when I return, they’ll figure out a place for me to stay to finish the school year in Reno. Ha! They do not know that’s unnecessary, but I’ll tell them later. I’ve signed my excuses and papers for so long as my parents that the school wouldn’t recognize their handwriting. Getting my report cards and terrible tests signed by my parents has been rather easy. It’s also why they have no clue I’m about to drop out.

I bite into my crepe wandering up and down Rue de Monge, looking in the shops. I love imagining a different life, and someone told me there’s a French version of the Goodwill called Emmaus Shop. I need a new clubbing outfit. I didn’t bring a lot with me, since I didn’t want to check a bag for the extra money. And I don’t like my clothes very much. But again, the idea of reinvention, even if it’s just a French shirt from the Gap, would be exciting.

My phone dings, and I know I only have so much data left, so I glance and see it’s Maggie. She’s done with class and wondering if I’m out yet. I won’t tell her I skipped. Attendance is always taken by a sign-in sheet. They don’t care, or so I’ve been told, who is in the dark little lecture halls. So, I paid a guy. It’s all the extra money I had. He’s signing me in and turning in the odd assignment now and then for me.

Lizzie’s holding her own hand in front of her. “Can we definitely get in?”

Kris rolls her eyes and says, “Of course. Duh. Look, the guy I met last week said, ‘if you’re hot and young, which we are’.” She shoves her shoulder into Lizzie. “We are! Saying ‘bizarre’ gets us into the club.”

I’m so freaking excited to let go. This week has been Tony-less. I explored the city while they studied and went to class. I don’t know if he thought I was busy or he’s not that into me. If that was our only time together, I should have slept with him. I don’t know. He felt different, but I guess he’s not.

I’ve seen a lot of Colton since he and Mags rarely leave each other’s sides. And Danny’s all gooey-eyed over Lizzie. Kris and I have been hanging out and drinking a lot. We go to a bar around the corner and pretend we’re college students. She hooks up, but I don’t. But tonight is going to be different. I need to put him out of my brain to find someone who makes me laugh as much and is that fucking hot. That’s my goal. To find a Tony that’s not Tony. I wish I didn’t think about him all the time.

tony

“Yes, ma’am. I know. I’m aware and I’m not doing anything you’d be ashamed of or would bring dishonor to the family. I’m absolutely staying away from temptation of any sort.”

I pretend to take a cock into my mouth and roll my eyes as I finish up this call with my mom. Ever since my brother got serious about a girl, and published a small story in The Atlantic, our parents decided to ruin my life. They believe his switch from economics to journalism is his girlfriend’s fault. Now, I’m not allowed to date until my junior year of college, so I don’t get any ideas that will derail me from my corporate path.

My father and mother have been married forever; they’re affectionate and perfect for each other. Yet my brother and I are supposed to mate like prized endangered pandas, all in the name of legacy and tradition.

I hang up and scream. Danny Boy puts his hands up, and I punch them. He knows.

I turn to the crew and say in my mother’s voice, “You can date when it is an appropriate partner.”

They all bust up laughing. It’s not that funny. My father’s words have been pounding in my head while I’ve avoided Makenzie. Shit. I don’t think I can be with her and not want to be inside her all the time. So, I’ve stayed away.

Tex is guiding us to God knows fucking where down a twisty street. Colt’s moping because Maggie went out with the other girls. Easiest bet we’ve ever won.

“Why the fuck do my parents drive me so fucking crazy?”

Danny smirks at me. “Yeah, poor baby has too much parental love and money.”

I shrug. He doesn’t usually play the shitty homelife card with me. He doesn’t want the sympathy or to rub it in our faces, but I’ll allow it right now. Mostly because I’m being a dick, and it’s his way of calling me out.

“Ok, fine. I’m losing it.” I don’t tell them how much I want Makenzie. And not just because she can suck a proper dick, but because I want to hear her opinions on things. I want to be with her and talk and laugh and cut up.

“You should fuck it out,” says our Texas evening Sherpa.

“What?”

“Just find some hole and fuck it out. All the frustration.”

“It’s a worthy suggestion. I’ll take it under advisement.”

I walk ahead, and Danny joins me. “Just go for it, man. See where things go by being with her. If she doesn’t want to hang out, you’ll know, but avoiding Makenzie is a drag for everyone involved.”

“I’m that obvious?”