Page 36 of Wildling
I sigh and find a seat in the waiting room and slump my hands onto my face. I spend the time replaying the memories. The dark, ugly, and terrifying ones, and the ones where I’m slowly realizing I’m utterly in love with this man.
I run through what I can piece together. Natalie was Nick’s sister—his twin sister. Which means at the very least I can find his birthday if I look up Natalie’s death certificate. He went away somewhere and is highly proficient with a gun. He lost both of his parents.
Once I’m done here, I’ll get in touch with Sarah. She’s the only one who I can trust with this and who has access to this type of information.
An hour goes by, then another. I miss a call from my mom and end up turning off my phone, worried that she will track me. I stare at the floor instead, ignoring the junkies around me coming down from their fix.
Finally, someone taps me on the shoulder. “Jane Doe. We can take you back now.”
Rising, I follow a different nurse through a set of doors and onto a bed. She stands over me and frowns. “So, I hear you’re having a rough time.”
I bite my lip and nod, shame rolling through me.
“Can you give me your name?” she asks.
Deny, deny, deny. I could be anyone. I don’t respond.
“What if I promised not to tell anyone? Will you tell me then?”
I waver. “I can’t.”
She pauses for a moment. “Do you have anyone you can call?”
I grip the sheets. “No. Please. I can’t call anyone.”
She walks around me and adjusts the bed, lifting me up and hands me a hospital gown. “We’re going to do what we call a sexual assault forensic exam. We’ll check everything, your hair, fingernails, and inside your vaginal and anus as well. Only if you consent.”
My eyes lift to meet hers. “What about the police? Will you tell them?”
The nurse rubs her hand along the underside of my breast, checking my ribs. “You don’t have to press any charges. But I would like to know who did this to you. Can you tell me anything?”
I shake my head. “I wasn’t awake for it. I have no memory of anything. I…I have a history of hurting myself. It might have been me.”
She takes my blood pressure again. “Have you ever had a history of sexual assault?”
I consider my answer. “No.”
“Have you had any consensual sex in the last seventy-two hours?”
I let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to find out.”
The last time I had sex was months ago…with Nick. I’ve been celibate ever since, even though Gabe has tried. Whatever this is was recent. “Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
Good grief… “No…”
Her hand finds my forehead. “Change into this gown. It goes on like a robe, and you tie it in the front. This examination will take about an hour.”
“When will you know?” I ask her.
“Lab results could take longer than a month.”
“I don’t need lab results.”
A sad look washes over her face. “We can tell you what we can when we’re done.”
I lay my head back and stare at the sterile ceiling, and don’t bother telling her I don’t have a month. That whatever is happening is happening right now. If Nick is out there, he is spiraling back into the Archer. He will kill me.
Eventually, they give me a sedative, and that’s enough for me to push my brain into the dark spaces in my mind. I don’t need Regina to help me find him in the dark edges of my sanity. Not anymore. These memories are mine.
