Page 93 of Cross the Line

“We promise to be honest about our needs,” I continued. “And if it becomes too much or it’s just not working, we’ll tell each other.”

He nodded, his expression solemn. “That sounds fair.” Then he smirked, looking somehow both cocky and cute. “Look at you, making plans for the future.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s only a few months away, don’t go announcing our wedding just yet.”

He got this strange look in his eye, but it was gone before I could process it. Then he pulled me to him, pressing a kiss to my hair. “Does this mean we can tell our friends about us? I know it’s complicated. The situation with your brother, and our work with the culture board this summer…”

I nodded. Complicated seemed like an understatement. “I need to talk to my brother before I could even consider telling anyone else.”

Carson swallowed hard, and for a minute, I wondered if he’d disagree. But then he said, “That’s understandable,” and my shoulders relaxed. “But there’s also no rush. We should just enjoy our time together. You’ll tell him when the time is right.”

I’m not sure there will ever be a good time to tell my brother that I’m sleeping with his ex-best friend. I didn’t say the words aloud, but perhaps Carson sensed the turn of my thoughts.

He frowned, cupping my cheek. “I know how important Levi is to you, and vice versa. And I know how painful it is to lose your family.” He let out a shaky exhale, his eyes filled with sadness. “I fucked up back then. I—” He closed his eyes. “I have regretted it every day since. And I have tried to make up for my actions, but…”

“Carson,” I said in a soft voice, placing my hand over his heart. “I know you’ve changed. I know you’re not the person you were back then.”

He swallowed hard, cupping my hand with his. “Thank you for saying that. It’s just…” He blew out a breath. “I need you to know that I’m not just saying I’ve changed. I’ve put in the work. I’ve gone to therapy. But also, after the way everything went down with Levi, I cut ties with my family.”

“I—” I jerked my head back. “What?”

My brother, and whatever had happened between them, was the reason Carson had severed ties with his family?

My heart ached for him—for both of them. My brother had lost a friend, and perhaps his faith in other people. And Carson had lost a friend and his family.

“I hate the thought that our relationship might come between the two of you. But I also can’t seem to give you up.” He gave my hand a squeeze, his gray eyes both sad and imploring.

“I know.” I rested my head against his chest. Because despite the obstacles, I couldn’t seem to give him up either.

As I stood there, listening to the steady beat of Carson’s heart, I decided that Levi would have to find a way to accept this. And if he couldn’t…well, I didn’t want to think about that. It simply wasn’t an option. My stubbornness hadn’t gotten me this far in life to give up now.

I couldn’t control my brother’s feelings any more than I could control which team would want to sign me for next year. All I could do was focus on the present.

“So…” I lifted my head, resolved to do just that. “Are we in agreement?”

Carson tilted his head as if surprised by my determination to forge ahead, despite his confession. “Yes.”

“Good.” I kissed him, feeling his smile against my lips, relief and joy pulsing between us as if it were a tangible thing. I couldn’t help but smile in return.

He moved our empty plates to the chair, standing with me in his arms. And then he set me on the table, my elbows barely keeping me upright. My eyes pinged from his tattoos to his abs, lower still.

“This,” he growled, tugging at the hem of the jersey. “Off. Now.”

I removed it, and he cast it aside, his eyes never leaving me. And then his palm was on my chest, gently pressing me back down on the table.

“Don’t move,” he commanded, and I pressed my thighs together as if to ease the ache building there.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I shot back, but I was grinning as I said it.

He arched one brow. “Do you trust me?”

I didn’t even have to think about it. I nodded.

It wasn’t about trusting him; it was about relinquishing control. But if there was anyone I was willing to let go with, it was Carson. He always made me feel as if I were the one with all the power. And he always gave me the time I needed to sort through my feelings.

“Good. Then stay there and close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes. I was too curious not to.