Page 51 of Empty

“I’m on my way.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jason yawned loudly, stretching as he did, mumbling, “Are you going to tell me why we’re having pack bonding at midnight?” He looked from me to Jonah who was currently stuck in his phone, thumbs flying across his screen. “No? No one? Nobody at all?” He clicked his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head, and stood, jerking his thumb towards the front door. “I’m leaving. Unlike Eli who can come into work whenever he wants, and you Jonah, I have an early morning—”

Jonah didn’t lift his eyes from his phone as he spoke over Jason. “Delaney told him he was a dominant alpha and needed to behave like one.”

“Who needs sleep?” Jason sat down on the carpet, releasing a gentle breath. “I don’t want to be a dick here—”

“Which means you’re going to be,” Jonah interjected.

With an eye roll Jason continued. “But what’s wrong with behaving like you’re a dominant alpha? Whatever that means.”

Finally, Jonah looked up from his phone. “That’s actually a valid question.”

I scrubbed my hand down my face and back up into my hair, pulling the loose curls out of my eyes. My heart ached and Jason and Jonah couldn’t begin to understand why. When I told them as much, Jonah simply responded,

“I wasn’t aware of the need to ‘truly’ understand before empathizing, Eli.”

“Yeah,” Jason chimed in, “You rarely share anything bad with us. Remember when he broke up with that one alpha from the bakery? No matter how badly you stunk, you denied anything was going on. Let us be here for you. Or at least have the common decency to wear your scent blockers. I refuse to go for a second round of being smothered by your moodiness.” Jonah leveled a fierce glare at Jason. He shrugged. “I’m saying what we’re both thinking.”

“All of my life,” I began, largely in part to shut Jason up, but also… I wanted to unburden myself. I was tired of carrying around the mantle of my genetics. If they wanted to understand, I’d do my best to make them. “I’ve been told that I’m only valuable because of what I am and who I’m related to. People find out I’m a Bordeaux and they cling to me, ask about my family, my relationship status, if I’d consider having multiple mates? Which I didn’t know was possible to be mated to multiple omegas but it’s possible for me?” I stared at my hands, wringing them in my lap as a distraction. “I’ve never wanted multiple mates. I’ve never cared about lineage or family status. But everyone forces that on me. I’ve never been able to be myself. When they find out I'm dominant, it’s all about my scent, sex, how big my knot is, if I can show them my other pair of fangs. They push when I say I’m not aggressive. I have never been. Only when it’s necessary and rarely am I in a situation that requires me to be.”

Jason’s shoulders drooped. He reached out to pat my knee. “I can understand. Being a beta that wants to be with another beta is scandalous.”

“As is alpha/alpha relationships,” Jonah added.

“Being generalized and stereotyped is shitty, Eli, but aren’t you doing something similar to Delaney?” Jason gently challenged.

“No.” I was adamant. “He did that to me. And I thought he never would. He hasn’t before, but maybe all omegas are the same.”

Jonah’s scent filled the room quickly, causing both me and Jason to whip our heads in his direction. Jonah rarely let his scent get away from him. “Bullshit,” he said in a low voice. “You know he’s not like other omegas. You know he’s his own person. Just like you are. You aren’t asking for anything impossible. Neither is he, but you both run at the first sign of trouble instead of talking it through like adults.”

“What if he just wanted me for my genetics?”

Exasperated, Jonah snapped. “Grow up, Elias. You’re not fifteen anymore. You’ve made a name for yourself, without your family’s help. You’ve finally stood up to them and let them know you’re living your life on your terms because you don’t need them. Why are you allowing the past, their fuck ups, to continue to dictate your present and destroy your future? You know Delaney. Probably better than anyone has ever known him. And he knows you. He knows how badly he’s messed up, but you leaving isn’t going to fix that.”

“This is the most I’ve heard you speak in god knows how long.” My reply broke the tension. Jason covered his snort with a cough and Jonah rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched. “You’re right, Jonah. But I had to leave.” Warmth bled into my cheeks as I averted my eyes.

“You just said you weren’t aggressive.”

“And I’m not. I’m hurt, angry, feeling a little betrayed but also…”

Jonah and Jason simultaneously urged me to continue. “Also…”

I didn’t want to, but I had to. Jonah was right. I needed to grow up and a large part of that was radically accepting who I was; not who my parents wanted me to be or who society said I was, but who I truly was at my core. And what I was, my genetic makeup, was a part of that. “I—kinda really wanted to ‘act like a dominant alpha’,” I admitted, trepidation filtering through my words. “I’ve never wanted to do that before and it scared me. What if I hurt him? What if he drops and he hurts me? What if we try—”

Jason’s brows scrunched together. “For what?”

“To win the lottery,” Jonah deadpanned.

“—and it doesn’t work and he… he doesn’t want me anymore?”

Jonah’s front door closed and the three of us looked up to see Tristin standing in the entrance, hand over his mouth and eyes watering. Stepping to the side, he pushed forward a quiet Delaney. “I told you,” he hissed.

“And I told you I didn’t want to come over here.”

“Tough shit. I’m not allowing you to wallow in self-pity again. Although, the last time forced Jonah and I together.”