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Instead, I turned my head to the side, nuzzling into Eli’s chest and choking out a half truth. “Nothing. I’m just so happy.”

“Are chokers back in? The answer is yes,” Tristin stated. “But chunky chokers? I didn’t get the memo.” He crossed his legs at the knees as he leaned back in the chair. An eyebrow was arched as he stared. I felt him boring a hole in the top of my bowed head.

After the other night, I took to wearing thick chokers to hide the mark. Whenever I saw the bite around my gland, there was a mixture of emotions I couldn’t decipher. After Eli left, I spent an embarrassingly long amount of time in the mirror tracing the mating mark. It was a little archaic and outdated, but the side of me I wished was louder, stronger, more, mewled with pride.

Despite not being able to bear children, I was mated. To a man that loved me.

To a man who claims to love you… the small voice interrupted, throwing awful feelings disguised as celebratory confetti.

Pushing the memories and emotions out of my mind, I ignored Tristin’s prodding. “How’s Jonah?” I hoped he would be true to form and not miss an opportunity to talk about his boyfriend.

Hope was for fools, which apparently, I was, because he easily brushed aside the question, pointing at my neck. “I’m not stupid, Dee.”

I sighed softly, pinching the bridge of my nose and lowering my head. “Fine,” I muttered. I reached up to undo the clasp, pulling it away from neck and exposing the bite mark around my gland.

“Oh, my gods.” Tristin clapped a hand to his mouth. “Maybe I am stupid because I was going to accuse you of wearing a collar and not a choker, which would be very hypocritical of you, but holy fucking shit you’re MATED?!”

My eyes widened. Tristin’s words carried. Loudly. “Shut up, shut up!” I hissed, hopping up from my chair and hurriedly crossing the length of my office. Closing the door, I turned back towards him glaring. “Must you be so aggravating?!”

“Yes. Eli?” Tristin pointed to the bite mark.

“Who else would it be?! Some random alpha?! I’m not you.”

“Touché,” Tristin acknowledged, shrugging. “But why didn’t you tell me?!” He pouted and crossed his arms over his chest with a heavy sigh. “Am I not your best friend?”

Drawing a hand through my hair, I swept the curls out of my face. “What was I supposed to do—tell Eli to not knot me so I can call my best friend and tell him, ‘So I’m a bit irrational right now and want my alpha to claim me for life?’ Hmm?!” I snapped out.

He giggled. “Not Knot… who—”

I growled. “I swear to god Tris if you finish that sentence…” I trailed off, my warning growl increasing in volume. However, much like Eli, Tristin dismissed the intimidation tactic with a wave of his hand.

“Sure, Lane. But back to you. He finally knotted you, huh?” Tristin smirked. I sat down on the couch across from my desk, nodding. “Then why do you look so miserable?”

My stomach tightened, my throat constricting in a similar fashion. “What if he regrets that I—I’m his mate? I actually, uh… bithimfirst,” I barely managed to whisper.

“YOU WHAT?!” Tristin scrambled to the couch, sitting so he was facing me.

The words were smothered by thick self-doubt I’d yet to voice. “I made a mistake, Tris. I bit him first. I claimed him first. What if—what if he only did it because I did?”

“Then he’s dumber than he looks,” Tristin stated, very matter of fact. “But I think the biggest idiot in this situation is you.”

“I’ll kick your ass.”

“Of course you will, sweetie.” Tristin hummed. “That man is crazy about you, according to Jonah, and like, any other person that has eyes and ears.”

I knew that to be true and that was what frightened me the most. “Eli is so kind. And funny. He has a big heart and he’s so gentle and patient. He is unlike any other alpha I’ve ever encountered, yes, including you.”

“Doubt that,” Tristin mumbled.

“And I’m—a mess,” I brokenly admitted, my words cracking under the oppressive feelings I’d been trying to ignore for the past few days. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship, Tris.” My office distorted, the furniture warping as I blinked back tears. Every argument I’d had with a partner, every harsh word, every hurtful truth replayed in my mind constantly when I was with Eli and it was exhausting. “They 're all right.”

In the years I’d known Tristin, there were a handful of times in which he seemingly lost control of his scent. Now, the scent of cloves permeated the office. “I’m doing my best to maintain my composure because I understand that your pain is deep, but I need you to understand you’ve picked nothing but shit alphas. Each and every one. Even the one you’re thinking of asking me about, yes. Him too.” Indignation had me sitting up straight, my mouth moving to form a scathing reply, but his scent grew stronger. “Don’t. I’ve been there through every shitty relationship. I’ve been there to hold your hand, wipe your tears, and make sure you eat because you’re a fussy little bitch when you’re heartbroken and only want foods from specific places that just so happen to never be local. So, I have a fucking right to verbally slap common sense back into you, but—” he inhaled deeply, musing aloud as he exhaled, “you are going to do what you want. And you’re going to convince yourself that pulling away is for the best because you always run. Always.”

I recoiled, my brows pulling together as his words landed like a punch to the gut. “I do not.”

“Remember when that poor alpha you had a crush on freshman year of uni said he had a crush on you? You literally ran.”

“Who confesses their love in the middle of club rush week?! Using a bullhorn?! What was I supposed to do?” I griped. “But that’s neither here nor there. What will I do when he realizes that—”