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“I come from a long line of alphas—men and women. My family made their money by being willing to crush and dominate any and everyone. On both sides. The expectation was the same for me and Jackson, but I’ve never been aggressive like them. Despite presenting, most omegas and alphas don’t begin to scent until they’re about to have their first heat or rut. I had been scenting since the day I presented. The entire house, every inch of it, was thick with my pheromones. Staff ended up calling in sick or would spontaneously go into heat or rut and have to leave. No one knew why until my father amped up my ‘training’.”

My throat constricted, the words getting stuck behind decades of shame. “He pulled me into his study and began an hours long tirade on my ‘birthright’. He told me that I had been chosen by ‘God’ to lead our family into a new era of financial abundance that would last well beyond several generations. I was tired and confused. He didn’t care. He literally—” I paused, sniffling lightly. “He uh, literally sat inches from my face, screaming at me to control it. I asked him what he meant and he didn’t tell me. He just continued on about my right to dominate. I think I was frustrated or maybe just tired and wanted to be left alone? Without realizing it, I scented. It was overpowering, more so than it had ever been. I was attacked by two staff members. They’d dropped and were feral. By the time they were pulled away from me, I had sustained a broken hand and…” I trailed off, tugging at my collar and pulling down the black choker to show the scarring near my gland.

“Jesus Christ, Eli.” Delaney exhaled. “I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head, chuckling wryly as I continued. “That wasn’t the worst of it. Well, it could have been, but my mother insisted on taking me to the endocrinologist first. Every test you can think of… I completed.” I shifted closer to my side of the couch, my shoulders rounding.

“B–but some of the testing involves actual omega subjects. Especially in terms of knot inflation and duration. You didn’t—at thirteen?!”

Feebly, I nodded. “At thirteen. It was the worst experience of my life, watching people twice my age lose control of themselves and being made to—so yeah, when you asked why I didn’t date omegas, it was my form of correcting the harm I caused. When you asked why I didn’t knot you, I genuinely have never wanted to knot anyone. I wasn’t given a choice back then and neither were they. So, it was always something I saw as traumatic for my partner.”

I couldn’t bring myself to look at Delaney. I felt weak, especially when the sting of tears pricked my eyes and I had to consciously fight from crying again. I was so focused on controlling my emotions that I didn’t realize he’d been closing the gap little by little.

“It sounds like,” Delaney gently started, “it has also been traumatic for you, Eli.”

A shuddering exhale fell over my lips. “I don’t get to be traumatized, y’know?” I wiped my face, sniffling. “At any point and time, I could have stopped the testing. I could have told them I didn’t consent and it would have ended there.”

“Did you know that then? I can’t imagine why any child would know that they’re old enough to consent for medical treatment or testing, especially if they aren’t told.”

He raised a good point. “I didn’t know then, but I should have.” I finally looked at him, questioning, “Right? I should have known.”

Delaney closed the gap completely, opening his blanket to take my hand. “How would you have known if no one told you?”

I chuckled, around my tears. “You sound like my friends.” I didn’t want to stop sharing. I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t have the courage to tell him everything. “After that, I was ashamed. I kept thinking about the way the omegas looked as they began to drop—confused and scared as they realized they were no longer in control. Alphas and betas weren’t as severely impacted, but after that, I lived in scent blocker patches. So much so that my glands frequently became infected. My parents didn’t care. They were excited to have a dominant alpha. ‘The first one in four generations!’ Jackson was no longer being groomed to be the head and I was. I met my first ‘suitor’ at thirteen, realized my parents were serious when I was fifteen, and refused to accept an arranged marriage. I was subsequently shipped off to an alpha training academy that had an emphasis in business practices and was basically told not to return home until I accepted my position in life. When I was honest about my ‘position in life’, I realized that partners have given me false acceptance and, honestly, that deterred me from continuing to be open.”

“I really despise your family,” Delaney growled as he shifted, placing his hand on my knee. “What do you mean by false acceptance?”

“I’ve never met a partner that genuinely cared for me. It was either about my family lineage, my money, or my genetics. Dominant alphas are extremely fertile and if they procreate, their chances of having a dominant alpha increases by more than fifty percent. Being a dominant puts you at the top of the social chain as does being a parent of one.” I fell silent as I finished recounting the past. “Oh!” The shift in mood was subtle. “I dropped out of school and came home without my parents’ permission at seventeen. We fought and they told me my choices were to lead or leave. I left and wound up abroad again. Italy. Despite being kicked out, my mother still sent me a pretty substantial allowance, and I was able to study a passion of mine while out there.”

“Cooking,” Delaney concluded.

“Yes. Culinary arts. I met a really nice couple and one of them, Tyree, designed the choker. But, by the time I finished the testing, my hand was nearly healed. It didn’t bother me until I began to cook. I ignored it for as long as I could, which was, thankfully, twenty-two long years, but once my knife work became too sloppy, I was encouraged to look into surgery. That day at the hospital, the day we met, I was told if I didn’t have surgery soon, the possibility of losing the full use of my hand was imminent. So…” I pointed to my cast. I yelped, surprised, when Delaney hit me on the shoulder.

“You risked giving up your dream to break down my door? How stupid can you be?”

I caught his wrist, gingerly placing it in my lap. I studied his face. Gorgeous, light brown eyes that were wet with tears shifted away from mine, his pointed canines nervously worrying a perfect bottom lip. A hint of color dusted the apples of Delaney’s cheeks. “My dreams became crystal clear the day I met you. If I were never able to perfectly julienne or dice vegetables, it didn’t matter. Because I had—”

“Don’t,” Delaney murmured as he pulled his hand free. “Don’t tell me I’m your dream fulfilled. How can I be when I can’t do the one thing I’m meant to do?”

“Why do you believe that’s all you’re meant to do? You have a life—friends, a successful business, hobbies that you enjoy, and someone who loves you unconditionally, even if you can’t bear children. Can’t that be enough for you?”

“Can it be enough for you?” He fired back.

“Yes.” I answered without pause.

Delaney sounded broken when he posed a one-word question. “How?”

I reached out to cup his chin, slowly turning his head. “Because I came alive the day I met you. I never cared about my future outside of my restaurant or my friendship with Jonah and Jason. Every day was the same day with the same routine until I caught your scent. It soothed me in ways I never imagined. Any fear, anger, and sadness I felt was immediately gone. Your scent was strong to me—is so strong to me—that I swear I can taste how sweet it is. You, as you are, the whole of you, that’s what I desire. If you can’t have kids, fine. We can adopt. If you would like to have biological children, we can do surrogacy. If you don’t want either and you just want to be spoiled rotten by your filthy rich man, let’s plan a trip to Paris so you can shop.”

“Wait.” Delaney's gaze became stony. “Who says you’re my man?”

I arched an eyebrow. “Am I not?”

“Why—what makes you—you can’t just—” Delaney spluttered, his warm brown skin reddening. He gave up, instead snapping, “You’ve yet to properly apologize.”

“You’re right, Delaney. I apologize for lying to you. There’s no justification for hurting you in the way I did. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I will gladly spend the rest of my days making you feel as special as you truly are.”

Color spread throughout his face like wildfire. I found his blush endearing. “I guess,” he muttered.