Page 83 of Give Me Honesty

“You heard me. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I think it’s best if we go our separate ways. You can go on with your life, and I’ll focus on myself.”

This time, anger took over me as I stood up, and looked into his eyes. I wasn’t about to let him push me away, and he clearly must have forgotten who he was dealing with.

“I’m not gonna let you do this,” I declared.

“Do what?” he hissed with fire in his eyes.

“I won’t let you push me away and act like our love doesn’t mean anything. I’m not going without a fight, Solly. You know me better than that.”

I wiped the hot tears that cascaded down my cheek, then folded my arms across my chest with an attitude.

His nostrils flared, and his fist clenched, but I shrugged in response.

“Why are you pushing so hard to stay? Why would you want to be with a nigga like me? Huh? What the fuck can I offer you? I’m damaged, Honesty. I’ve been telling you this, but you wouldn’t listen. This is why I didn’t want to get close to you! I knew one day the mask would slip, and you would see the shit I’ve been trying to keep hidden.”

“I don’t want your fuckin’ sympathy. I don’t want to see pity in your eyes when you look at me because you see me as a victim. I’m not a fucking victim!” Solomon roared as his chest heaved up and down.

I stepped closer, but he tried to move away. I paid him no mind as I got close enough to touch him.

“When I look at you, I don’t see a victim. I see my protector. The person who knows all my secrets and doesn’t judge me for them. I see the man who makes me blush and my heart skip a beat. When I look at you, I don’t see someone who is damaged. I see my future. I see the man I’m gonna walk down the aisle to one day. The man who will wipe our little girl’s tears and teach our son how to ride a bike. You’re the man I run to for every small inconvenience in my life because I know you’ll somehow manage to make it better.”

“My view of you hasn’t changed, baby. If anything, it unlocked a new piece of you I didn’t have access to. I would never use your pain against you, because you’re the person who helped me carry mine. I’m not asking you to be perfect, Solomon. Hell, I don’t even know what that means. The only thing I want is for you to continue loving me and to never stop. I want you to trust me with the vulnerable parts of you because it helps to remind me that my superhero is still human.

“I love you, baby. Honestly, my love for you has grown even stronger because I know just how strong you truly are. You went through the kind of pain that could have destroyed you, but you took it and turned it into fuel. You are an inspiration to the world, but they don’t have a clue just how truly special you are. I do, though. I’ve always known you were extraordinary, and you’re a fool if you think I’m gonna walk away from the greatest love I’ve ever known. You might as well get those thoughts out of your head because it’s never gonna happen.” I proclaimed.

I would never judge him or hold his past against him. I didn’t see him as less than because of the trauma he endured, and I never could. Solomon had been my anchor since the day we met, and now it was my turn to be his. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my head against his chest. He stood there stiff as a board, but he eventually wrapped his arm around me. We stood there in a silent embrace while I allowed my tears to fall freely.

He would never truly understand how badly I needed him, and the thought of losing him scared me to my core. My body shook uncontrollably as I released the sob that had been trapped inside of me. I wept for my man and the innocence that had been stripped from him. He deserved so much better than what he had been given, and it wasn’t fair. I cried angry tears because I wanted to hurt everyone who played a role in breaking his heart.

Solomon rubbed my back as he held me tighter. Eventually, I calmed down, but my head felt like it was about to explode. My eyelids grew heavy as I lifted my head from his chest. Solomon glanced down at me, but his expression was unreadable. I noticed the remnants of fallen tears on his face and instinctively reached up to wipe his face with my hands.

His stare was intense, but I never looked away.

“You really aren’t gonna let me go, huh?” He asked.

“No. You promised to love me forever, and I’m not done collecting on that promise. You’re stuck with me.” I stated firmly.

He shook his head as he pulled me deeper into him. “You’re a fuckin’ bully. You know that?”

“I’m okay with that.”

I raised my arms and wrapped them around his neck as best as I could. Solomon leaned down and pecked my lips, then rested his forehead against mine.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“How much?” I questioned.

That made him chuckle as he lifted his head.

He lifted his arms and spread them outward.

“This much.”

“Hmm, that’s not enough. I need more.”

Solomon widened his stance and opened his arms further back.

“What about now?” He asked.