Page 82 of Give Me Honesty

“Then why the fuck you ain’t cum yet? Huh? Wet my shit up and stop playin’.”

My mouth hung open as he hammered into me and until we were both releasing together.

I panted wildly as he pulled out of me and we both dropped to the bed.

* * *

I stirred in my sleep, and my eyes popped open. I lay there in silence for a moment, because something in my gut felt off. Solomon and I made love for hours, but when I drifted off to sleep, there was still some lingering uncertainty in the air. He acted as if everything was okay, but I didn’t believe him.

When we fell asleep, his arms were wrapped around me, but as I lay there, his presence was absent. The uneasy feeling from earlier returned as I sat up in the bed. His spot was empty, and it set off all types of alarms in my head. I leaped out of bed, grabbed one of his T-shirts from his drawer, and pulled it over my head.

I raced out of the room, without a set destination in mind, but I needed to find him. My heart beat wildly as I stepped into the living room. There was no sign of him, so I ran to the next place I thought he would be. His studio. When I got to the door, I stupidly pressed my ear to it until I remembered it was soundproof. I took a deep breath and twisted the knob. I breathed a sigh of relief when it opened without resistance.

I pushed the heavy door open, and my eyes bulged at the sight before me. There was broken equipment scattered all over the floor, from speakers to soundboards. It was all destroyed. There were pieces of glass, metal, and miscellaneous items all over, and I covered my mouth in shock. Solomon spent months picking out his equipment and having his studio renovated to his liking. He was picky, so it took longer to finish because he wanted everything to be perfect. My heart shattered to see everything he worked hard for, crushed and broken into pieces.

As I walked further inside, I shook my head as tears dripped down my face. The glass from the recording booth had been shattered, and I could see he had thrown a chair through it. Each step caused my heart to break even more. I got ready to call out to him, but I noticed a figure sitting across the room.

Solomon sat on the floor with his back against the wall. He was spaced out with an empty bottle of tequila in his right hand. I raced over to him, tripping over the broken equipment in my path. I dropped to my knees by his feet, but he held out his hand to keep me from getting any closer.

“Get out,” he demanded in a cold tone.

My chest heaved up and down as I stared at him and the condition he was in. I had never seen him so broken and torn apart.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I asserted. Solomon needed me, and I wasn’t going to let him push me away.

“I’m not playing with you, Honesty. Get the fuck out!” His voice rose, but I sat there unfazed by his outburst. The smell of liquid on his breath made me even more determined to stay put. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I left him to his own devices.

He chuckled angrily as tears raced down his cheeks and disappeared into his beard. “You’ve been hard-headed since the day I met you.” He scoffed, lifting the empty bottle. Once he realized there was nothing left, he frowned, then tossed it across the room. I flinched when I heard the glass shatter against the wall.

“Talk to me,” I pleaded as I made another attempt to get close to him.

“There isn’t shit to talk about. Now get your shit and get the fuck out,” he demanded.

“I said, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Honesty, stop playin’ with me.”

“I’m not playing, and my name isn’t Honesty; it’s Honey Bee. As long as you’re here, this is where I’m gonna be.”

“Why do you even want to be here? I know you heard that shit at the party.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.

Tears continued to fall from his cheek, but he wasn’t sobbing or anything. It was like the dam that had finally broken, but he was still trying to hold onto his tough exterior.

“I’m fucked up. I have been for a long time.”

His eyes were focused on the ceiling as he spoke. He refused to look my away.

“I disagree.”

He scoffed, then drew his legs in as he attempted to stand up. Solomon staggered for a moment until he eventually steadied his balance. I reached for his arm, but he snatched away from me. I didn’t get upset because I knew he didn’t mean it. He was trying to push me away because that made him feel more comfortable. When his eyes finally locked on mine, they were dark and void.

“This shit between us is dead.”

His words were like a cold dagger to the heart. It almost took my breath away, as if someone had punched me in the gut.

“W-What?” I could barely get the words out as I experienced an emotional reaction that caused me physical pain.