Page 76 of Give Me Honesty

If looks could kill, Messiah would have dropped Dreaux where he stood. I laughed uncontrollably as Dreaux shrugged his shoulders after what he said. I spent a lot of my time working, but I loved when I could have moments like these to unwind and laugh. It felt good to have support and be able to express myself without judgment, and I understood it was something many men weren’t lucky enough to experience.

“Dreaux, you are hell for that, but you ain’t wrong. I have to remind myself that Honesty and I are still young and figuring out life because I find myself ready to put a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly. Baby girl don’t even realize she has unlocked a new level of crazy inside of me.” I added.

“Hell yeah. I tell Peace that all of the time. I’ve never been the type to fight over a woman, but I would put two in a nigga’s dome if anyone ever tried to take my baby away from me. I had a dream she was fucking one of the actors in the show we were watching together. Man, I woke up ready for war, and her ass was sleeping peacefully as if she hadn’t just betrayed me.” Dreaux shook his head as if he was reliving the moment.

“Bro, you sound crazy as hell. How are you gonna hold her accountable for a dream?” Messiah asked as he chuckled.

“Aye, I felt that pain in my chest. Real or not. When she tried to put her leg on me, I pushed it off. I had to remind myself that she hadn’t done anything wrong, but I already know if she ever cheated on me, I’m going to prison. I would never do anything to hurt her, but I’ma chop that nigga up and roast him on an open fire.” Dreaux exclaimed.

“Aye, I’m not even mad at you because I feel the same way about Yaya. She thinks it’s funny whenever I say something about it. She came to one of my away games, and I overheard these niggas talking about this bad bitch they wanted to fuck. You know me, I wanted to see who they were talking about, so I walked over there to get a better look and damn near lost my shit when I saw it was Yaya in the concession line with my baby. I walked right past them and tongued her down in the line.

“She thought it was funny, but I really wanted to beat their asses for even looking at my woman. Yaya and I are very open about certain things, but I don’t think she realizes how crazy I am about her. I would body anyone who ever tried to hurt her or take her from me. Hell, I’m still upset that I didn’t get the chance to have Samantha jumped after what she did to her. Hell, Meesha too. I don’t play when it comes to my baby, and when people hurt her, I take it personally.” Messiah expressed.

The thought of my mother and all of the shit she put us through made me angry, so I often tried not to think about it. Meesha still kept trying to contact me from prison, but I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her. It was crazy how a mothafucka could do you wrong and then act as if nothing happened. Meesha had no remorse or regret for the life she gave us, and it didn’t matter how much time passed. She was never going to change.

“Yeah, I don’t have shit to say to her foreal. Outside of Yaya and Malea, I don’t claim anyone else, and with the way Malea has been acting, she’s about to be on my shit list too.” I scoffed.

“Yeah, I’m still fucked up about baby girl. I don’t know what’s going on with her, and it’s breaking my heart foreal. It took everything in me not to ride to that nigga’s house, kick the doors down, and pull her ass out of there. Yaya tries to put on a front as if she’s not hurt, but I heard her crying to Honesty a few nights ago. She has been going crazy with worry, but she doesn’t know what to do. Have you talked to her?”

“Naw, I haven’t reached out, to be honest. The only reason I haven’t gone over there and shown my ass is because she’s been keeping in touch with Honesty. As long as I know she’s safe and she has a way to contact us, I’m cool for now.”

Honesty had to talk me off the ledge because I wanted to do exactly what Messiah said and drag her home, but I couldn’t afford to get in trouble right now. The label was happy with the way I had turned my image around, and I couldn’t afford to fuck things up. Now, if I ever found out the nigga harmed her in any way, that would be different.

We wrapped up our workout, and I headed home to change. Draike wanted me to come over to his Pops' house for a cookout to celebrate him opening his second car dealership. D-Lo had been in my life for years, but he spent a lot of time locked up for petty crimes. When he got out the last time, he made a promise he would never get in trouble again. He invested his money into an old car dealership and turned it into a luxury dealership.

We were all proud of how far he had come because he kept his promise and took care of his kids. When Brenesha first got released from jail, I thought for sure they were going to get back together again, but he kept the kids and decided to move on.

* * *

“I appreciate you coming, bro. I still can’t believe your ass is grown now. It’s wild to see how much time has passed. You and my sons were some little pipsqueaks, and now y’all are walking around with beards and deep-ass voices. This shit is crazy.” D-Lo said as we sat in the backyard.

The food was good as hell, and I enjoyed myself the whole night. Being around D-Lo and my cousins brought a sense of peace to my heart that I needed. We laughed, talked shit, and reminisced about the old days all night. They were younger than me, but we all basically grew up together. They were more like brothers than cousins.

“Hell yeah. I’m proud of you, bro. I used to look up to you when I was a young bull. Even though you were in the streets, you were always solid. You may not have been a perfect role model in some areas, but you for sure taught me how to be a man and take care of the ones you love.”

“Out of all the things I’ve heard today, that means the most to me. When I first had Draike, I was still a youngin myself. I didn’t have a clue what the hell I was doing. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be like my pops and let my family down. I made a lot of stupid ass decisions because I didn’t want my kids to go without.

“In my mind, if I had to run up in a few houses or sell some drugs to make sure my kids ate good and had a place to sleep, then it was no question. I never stopped to consider how my actions could affect them because I was young and arrogant as fuck. I didn’t think I would ever be caught. Life humbled me to fuck out of me, and when Bre got locked up, I knew I had to get myself together.

“Neither of us had a solid support system, and all I kept thinking about was how fucked up I would have been had Yaya not been able to get them. My kids could have been put in the system, and who knows what could have happened to them, you know?”

My mind flashed to a time in my life I wanted to forget, and it reminded me of why I had always been adamant about not having children. The world was a cruel place, and it scared me to think about what could happen in my absence.

“Yeah, I know. As stubborn as I was back then, I’m still grateful to my sister. She looked out for me. Hell, she still does. Even though I have to remind her ass that she’s not my momma.” I chuckled as I thought about Yaya.

She messaged me to remind me I owed her a brother-and-sister shopping date and to bring my big wallet. After watching how Rule and Messiah spoiled and took care of their family, I looked forward to being able to do the same for mine.

“Yaya has always been solid,” D-Lo replied.

“Yeah, that’s my baby. I love her worrisome ass.”

The two of us stood there as we watched the people we loved dance and have a good time. I brought Honesty along with me, and I was a little nervous about how she would fit in with my family and D-Lo’s folks. They were from the hood and carried themselves as such. One of D-Lo’s uncles used to be a pimp back in the day, and he had no shame about his past. He would openly talk about how he used to run the streets and collect all of his money from the women who worked for him.

Honesty wasn’t used to shit like that, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to introduce her to that side, but I decided to bite the bullet since she was a part of my life.

“Your lady is beautiful. I can tell she keeps your ass on your toes from the way you keep looking around to make sure she’s good.” D-Lo pointed out.

It was a force of habit whenever she was with me. No matter what I was doing, I would stop to make sure she was okay. She had been enjoying her time and had even gotten close with D-Lo’s new woman. Shorty was a little younger than him, but he appeared to be happy.