Page 65 of The Forbidden Center

“I know.”

“How?”

“She told me yesterday.”

I did not ask Tova whether there was a meeting. I asked the school. That difference is sitting at the table with us.

“I went to the library afterward. I did not come in.”

“Why?”

“You looked happy. But there were empty chairs on both sides of you, and I wanted to know if that mattered. Then I realized if I walked in, you would have to answer me before you even knew if you wanted to.”

She looks at the page, not at me.

“You could’ve just come in.”

“Yes. I worked that out about four seconds too late.”

That gets a small breath through her nose.

I slide the page toward her. “You do not have to choose one. I am not bringing them home because I think the library is a problem.”

“What do you think?”

“From the corridor, I could not tell if you chose to be alone or if everyone else chose it for you.”

She picks up the paper. “I choose the library.”

“Good.”

“You still want me to do a club.”

“I want you to know the door exists.”

“That sounds like a yes.”

“It is an extremely controlled maybe.”

She snorts and reads the page.

I go back to the stove.

For a few minutes there is only the pan, the exhaust fan, and the dry scratch of her pencil.

Then she says, “A man at your work said people call him a coward and he leaves anyway.”

I turn.

“What did he mean?”

“That people try to make him fight. He leaves and stays mad.”

She says it the way a person repeats directions from a map.

“And that mattered to you?”

She shrugs.