Page 10 of Lumberjack Bonfire Kisses

He grabbed my legs and pulled them on his lap, his hands running over my calves and feet.

“So, share with the class what has your thoughts all twisted.”

“I can’t.”

He lifted a brow as his knuckle worked on the arch of my foot.

“You can’t, or you won't?”

“You know, I’ve never really understood why people ask that. I think it’s just a way to push someone,” I muttered, making him smile.

“It is. But you saying you can’t is saying that you are hiding it for reasons you think are valid but aren’t. Won’t is saying that you really don’t know how to express it and it would do more harm than good for you to say it.”

I tilted my head as I processed that. Both were true. And me actually thinking it might hurt him is more my thoughts than actual facts.

But it was still a lot to unpack too. Even if he could possibly be feeling it himself.

“Talk to me, Justice. I can see you trying to figure out the best way to avoid whatever is going on so it means it’s pretty big.”

“I hate that you know me so well.”

He chuckled as he shook his head.

“No, I think you like that, actually. I think you hate the fact that I can draw things out of you that you wish to keep secret. But it’s okay, because we’re in a one-bedroom cabin, and there’s really nowhere for you to escape.”

“That’s even worse!”

He gave me a shit eating grin as he kept working on massaging my feet, which was doing a very good job of distracting me. But also doing a very good job of wanting me to give in.

“You know I have other ways of making you talk, so I suggest you just tell me now and save yourself the pain.”

I rolled my eyes at him. Then watched as he lifted my foot and kissed the top of it, making my eyes open wide. It was the last thing I expected. But it wasn’t unwanted either.

“Do I need to keep going?” he asked, moving to another spot on my foot.

“Fine, fine.” I tried taking my foot away, but he held fast, his brow lifted. “Do you find that, like, the air is charged? Maybe even more so now?”

“Is it a bad thing if it was? Or is it a bad thing if it’s acted upon?”

How did he do that? How did he know me so well that he could voice the very thoughts I had spiraling in my head.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so, but then I’m the one who just ended a relationship.”

“True, Justice. But it’s a relationship that was in the dump anyway. He might have thought things were great, but I know that if you really loved him like you said, you’d be a whole lot more torn up. You were pissed that he hurt you, not devastated over the loss of the relationship.”

He wasn’t wrong. And it’s all thoughts I had driving up, wasn’t I? I sure wasn’t acting like a woman that had just gotten betrayed by the one man who was supposed to be my forever

No, that wasn’t true. I never saw him in that role. I think he really was just my right now.

The man who was staring at me, deep down, had always been my forever. I just didn’t ever want to make things awkward for him or Peyton.

I guess over the years, though, things have changed. It seemed more and more that Peyton didn’t mind. Not that Eddie came up a lot, but it’s just a vibe I got.

“I know,” I finally said, making him grin. “I guess, I just didn’t want it to come across like I was using you or something equally dumb.”

His hands continued working on my foot as he looked at me, a gleam in his eye that I didn’t see before.

“It’s not dumb, it’s actually smart. I can see why you would think that. I’m glad you actually did. I’m also glad we’re discussing it and not just letting it fall to the side thinking things are okay when maybe they aren’t. However, you have no need to worry. I don’t think, or feel, that you’re using me in any way. In fact, I kind of wish you did.